Success by Trump Deodorant

Posted: December 12, 2015
Success by Trump Deodorant
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Donald Trump thinks you stink. Particularly if you're: Barack Obama; Hillary Clinton; George W. Bush; Carly Fiorina; Megyn Kelly; any other journalist; any other woman; disabled; Jeff Bezos; an immigrant; a Democrat; a Republican; a Muslim; or someone who is not Donald Trump. But good news! You can stink less if you wear Donald Trump's deodorant. It's called Success by Trump, which is kind of a misnomer because the only success anyone who buys it is sure to achieve is success in giving Trump a few more dollars to spend on haircare and running his mouth off.

And speaking of haircare, Success by Trump is actually a whole line of men's grooming products. It includes cologne, after shave, and shower gel in addition to the deodorant. Mysteriously missing: elaborate combover salve.

If you want to dump Trump into your armpits some key features of Success are that it is a stick deodorant (though much smaller than the one up Hillary's...), contains no alcohol (the Donald needs that for himself), and has a juniper scent (which Trump almost vetoed due to the berry's first syllable).

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