Grooming

EDC Titanium Earpick

$19.90 - $25.49 Amazon »

An earpick, also known as an ear spoon or ear scoop, is a super sexy tool for ignoring your mama's advice and digging out all that gooey (or dry and flaky) earwax from your ear canals. And, with MecArmy's EDC Titanium...

The Lollipop Wipe - Chocolate-Flavored Crotch Cleaner

Discontinued

It tastes like dark chocolate and it's latex-compatible, ladies and gentlemen. Lollipop Wipes are individually wrapped pieces of black rayon paper infused with an edible - and dark-chocolate-flavored! - water-based cream...

SZQHT Wide Jaw Nail Clippers

$9.97 - $12.72 Amazon »

Ready for a little DIY, at-home snip, snip? This time for your fingernails and toenails, rather than your vas deferens*. SZQHT levels up your cheap and crusty nail clippers with their line of ergonomic, wide jaw trimmers...

Maxsoft Scalp Massager & Shampoo Brush

$6.98 - $8.99 Amazon »

If scalp massages tickle your pickle, get ready to enjoy some serious tickling of your pickle with Maxsoft's scalp massager & shampoo brush. In the shower no less! My second favorite place to tickle my pickle next to...

Gillette Heated Razor

$149.94 Amazon »

Sure, you could be a GilletteLabs Heated Razor for a couple hundos and experience "instant warmth in less than one second at the push of a button." Or you could achieve the exact same effect for the cost of a disposable...

Encompass 20-Second Half-Mouth Electric Toothbrush

$99 - $109 indiegogo »

Come on, Encompass, have we really gotten to the point that two minutes of toothbrushing is too long? Now we need to cut out 100 of the 120 seconds we're meant to spare on cavity prevention and proper oral hygiene a couple...

Electric Lip Plumper

Sold Out Amazon »

It's not so much that I doubt this electric lip plumper will work as it is I doubt it will feel very good during or after use. Certainly not as good as the other kind of "electric lip plumper," if you know what I mean...

Pimple Popper Tool Kit

$7.99 - $9.99 Amazon »

Wowee! A 7-piece Pimple Popper Tool Kit. Blackheads, whiteheads, and pus-filled zits better watch out, 'cause there's never been a better way to get rid of acne!...

Nail Fungus Repair Pen

$14.44 Amazon »

Gah! Gah! Gah! This nail fungus repair pen is fine, great even, in and of itself, but Puriderma's Proof That It Works! photos? Gah! Gah! Gah! I'm about to lose my lunch, and I haven't even had lunch yet today. Toenails...

SteelBee Razor Saver

$12.99 Amazon »

The SteelBee Razor Saver asks, "Replacing your blades often?" Why, yes, SteelBee, I do replace them on the regular. But not because they're rusty. Because, um, they're dull, and you're supposed to replace them. Every...

Hello Oral Care Activated Charcoal Infused Floss

$17.97 Amazon »

Hello Oral Care's line that's supposed to sell us on their Activated Charcoal Infused Floss is "Fall black in love with flossing." Um. Huh. How to unpack that?...

AuraGlow LED Teeth Whitening Kit

$48.50 Amazon »

With AuraGlow your teeth will glow, and then they'll glow. This teeth whitening kit combines the active-ingredient-goo of white strips with the mouthpiece-style tray of whitening offerings from dentists' offices, and...

Flint Retractable Lint Roller

Sold Out Amazon »

I promise you, Flint Retractable Lint Rollers are a better purchase, for yourself or as a gift, than they might seem at first glance. For example, maybe you have pets. Maybe you need a gift for a pet lover. Maybe you...

Grip Clean Dirt-Infused Heavy Duty Hand Soap

$5.99 - $10.95 Amazon »

Grip Clean heavy duty hand soap goes for the sly marketing technique of claiming it will wash your soiled hands clean of dirt using the power of...dirt. Developed for auto mechanics, fabricators, construction workers...

Dirty Body Spray

Discontinued

Need to appear more rugged and manly? A few spritzes of Dirty Body Spray will make you look like a mechanic and volunteer firefighter who just finished the World's Toughest Mudder. Scent choices include Pitmaster and...

Nintendo Entertainment System Dopp Kit

$24.90 Box Lunch »

Box Lunch's Nintendo Entertainment System Dopp Kit means you can keep your 'stache looking as dapper as Mario's and locks as lustrous and coifed as Link's even when you're traveling or on the go. The toiletry bag's NES...

Teeth Whitening Pen

Sold Out Amazon »

The only thing that sucks worse than yellow teeth is trying to whiten them with strips, trays, or whitening pens like this one, and spending the next few weeks feeling like everything that touches my teeth, including...

LastSwab Reusable Cotton Swab

$11.97 Amazon »

The LastSwab Reusable Cotton Swab: "Because there is no Planet B." Hear that, ocean-polluting and marine-life-skewering Q-Tips?...

The Lawn Mower Manscaping Electric Trimmer

Discontinued

The first scene in the video for the Lawn Mower 2.0 electric trimmer for manscaping is pretty much exactly what I'd envision the Lawn Mower 2.0 would do to my private regions if I used it: the Happy Trail becomes the...

Haeyo Mayo Hair Nutrition Mask

$16 Amazon »

Haeyo Mayo, 'eh? Now that looks like an April Fool's joke waiting to happen. It might not even be on purpose. A haircare product packaged in a squeeze bottle that looks exactly like the craft batch stuff my wife buys...

Osana All Natural Mosquito Repellent Soap

Discontinued

I see your lighting of a citronella candle to keep the mosquitos away, and raise you bathing in the essential oil, rubbing it in soap form all over my body as a skeeter beater for all 2000 of my bug-averse body parts...

Kula Cloth Antimicrobial Pee Cloth

$20 - $22 Kula Cloth »

This one's for the ladies! The Kula Cloth looks like a potholder, and indeed has highly absorptive powers, but in this case the camping and hiking companion isn't sucking up heat, it's sucking up pee. The Kula Cloth is...

Convenience Kits Men's Toiletry Travel Kits

$11.61 - $26.35 Amazon »

I'm not helpful enough to have priced out for you Convenience Kits' line of Men's Toiletry Travel Kits to determine if their consolidated dopp bags of mini bottles and packs of grooming products are a much better deal...

Black Cotton Swabs

Sold Out Amazon »

What's the syllable count for a haiku again? Because I think that's what Daiso Japan was going for in their Black Cotton Swab description:...