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Retractable Vampire Fangs

Posted: September 14, 2023
Retractable Vampire Fangs
$4.95
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While these Retractable Vampire Fangs are mighty cool and all, I just don't need them to complete my Nandor the Relentless (aka Nandor De Laurentiis*) costume this Halloween. One of the many, many glorious details in What We Do in the Shadows is the vampires don't bother retracting their fangs when interacting with the humans of Long Island. And the humans don't bother noticing them!

So while I do seek an ornately detailed vampire cape, a leather coat with many buckles suitable for a warrior of the Ottoman Empire, and a pair of dark brown corduroys (because this dude does not believe in sacrificing all semblance of comfort just to win a costume contest) I'll leave the Retractable Vampire Fangs to the dudes and ladies out there who want to dress up as Dracula, or a member of the Buffyverse.

Plus, if the ratings are to be believed, the quality of your standard Retractable Vampire Fangs - this is just one of many listings for them online - is cheap, unrealistic, poorly sized, and uncomfortable to wear. More importantly, their control mechanism, a combination of an arced panel trigger and your tongue, doesn't seem to work that well.

*On a brighter note than the apparently crappy Retractable Vampire Fangs, in Season 5, Episode 5 of What We Do in the Shadows, Channel 8 field reporter Joanna Roscoe asks Nandor for his name as she's interviewing him about a broken water main on his street. Here's how that goes down.

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