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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Mankini

Posted: November 04, 2020

In: Style ➠ Clothing

ADDITIONAL IMAGES

Reindeer Threesome Sweater

Sold Out from Amazon »

It's a highly inappropriate Rudolph sandwich, wherein Rudolph proves that he can both dish it out and take it. The Reindeer Threesome Sweater is to make your holidays, and particularly your impending Ugly Christmas Sweater...

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Reindeer Hangover Ugly Christmas Sweater

Sold Out from Amazon »

Listen. The only reason I'm showing you a barfing reindeer ugly Christmas sweater on November 6th is that when I waited for another month to show it to you last year it sold out before I had the opportunity. So just swap...

Life-Size Animated Talking Reindeer

$5,400 from Frontgate »

The idea of Dasher, a life-size reindeer that talks and moves, is decent, but, uh...did they have to give him the voice of Ross Matthews? MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! Let's hang pink and purple stockings! At least that's...

Ug It Up for Santa: Top 10 Ugly Christmas Sweaters

Ahhhh, nothing screams, "Merry Christmas!" like synthetic fabrics, tacky embroidery, seizure-inducing patterns, and colors insulting to nature. Here are my picks for most awesomely uggiest of the ug, the Top 10 Ugly Christmas...

Frosty the Eunuch Ugly Christmas Sweater

$59.95 from Amazon »

Ugly Christmas Sweater season is here. The days, they have shortened. The temperatures, they have dropped. And the Tipsy Elves, they have knitted. The tacky, silly, funny, and dirty entries in their 2017 sweater line...

PyroPet Reindeer Candle

$38.61 from Amazon »

Rudolph the white-nosed reindeer / Had a very waxen face / And the next time you see it / I'll have melted it away. All of the other reindeer / Will tremble inside their own skin / As I set a match to Rudolph / And burn...

Second Skin Santa Bodysuit

Sold Out from Amazon »

If your kids are afraid of Santa the jolly bearded fat man, just dress up as Santa the faceless creeper in the second skin bodysuit and show them what real terror is. Ho, ho, ho, an ocelot ate my face! Now I spread Christmas...

Feisty Pets Rude Alf the Blood Nosed Reindeer

$39.99 from Amazon »

Rude Alf the Blood Nosed Reindeer is another unexpected, twisted stuffed animal from Feisty Pets, this time a delightful perversion of Santa's top sleigh driver, Rudolph, made just for the holidays. Rude Alf and his Blood...

Reindeer on the Spit Ugly Christmas Sweater

$28.23 from Amazon »

Wonder what happened to create this ugly Christmas sweater. Is Santa spit roasting a reindeer because his sleigh crashed a week ago and no one has responded to his SOS calls, or because he's just hungry and Mrs. Claus...

Lightsaber Willy Warmer

$36.98 from Etsy »

This Lightsaber Willy Warmer might be the finest expression of Grandmas's yarn I ever saw. Not a bad tribute to Star Wars either, presuming you've mastered The Force well enough to wield this saber once it's fired up...

Denim Thong Underwear

$34 from Etsy »

I particularly like that the Denim Thong Underwear have the words, "Do what you love" printed on the right side of their wearer's crotch. Inspiration, and motivation, for ladies who might wonder if they should be having...

Men's Half Thong (NSFW)

$3.99 from Amazon »

Never mind all the male bush and taint action going on in these Men's Half Thong photos, what I really want to know is: how the half thong does a dude wear a half thong? How does it stay on? Is there an adhesive involved?...