Muscle-Enhancing Shirt

Posted: October 27, 2013
Muscle-Enhancing Shirt
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Money can squeeze the fat in, and now money can carve the muscle out. Which means there are exactly 0 reasons left for me to exercise. What? Avoiding heart disease and diabetes? Psshhh! Preventable, life-threatening afflictions that create astronomical medical bills and skyrocket the costs of American health insurance only affect other people. No, Funkybod's muscle-enhancing shirts are poised to revolutionize the world, and take down the fitness industry. Once they deal with that phone call from 1988 anyway. Hans and Franz are pissed. They want a cut of the profits. Or at least an invitation to star in the shirts' demo videos.

Funkybod's line of of 3/4 sleeve shirts is stacked with sculpted arm and chest padding to give skinny dudes some definition and manboobed dudes some confidence. The undergarments are form-fitting to appear natural and preclude embarrassing fake bicep lines, and manufactured from breathable materials so the wearer won't sweat like a whore in church during use, and end up looking just as unattractive to the general public as he would with string bean arms or saggy middle-aged woman tits. Funkybod tops include embedded, supposedly realistic-feeling plates to enhance the following indicators of raw manliness:

  • Chest
  • Shoulders
  • Triceps
  • Biceps

Muscle-enhancing shirts are available in black, white, and gray. If you would like Funkybod's technical specs for the insta-ripping of you, click here. If you would like some Funkybod manboob info, click here.

Muchas danke to Geek Alerts.

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