Gluttony Pants

Posted: March 23, 2013
Gluttony Pants
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I'm fine with unbuttoning my pants pursuant to acts of gluttony. Way more fine than I am with wearing elastic-waisted jeans, anyway. Dad. But this alternative, this pair of expandable pants designed with human garbage disposals like me in mind, may be preferable for donning to establishments I've been asked to leave in the past for exposing myself in public.

Betabrand, in collaboration with San Francisco chef Chris Cosentino, has created the Gluttony Pants, two khaki straight legs, a pocketed ass, and an induglence-themed waistband depicting the life cycle of a glutton from birth to final, death-dealing esophageal insertion. They're capped with 3 spaced button closures representing the 3 gradations of Culinary Swino: Piglet; Sow; and Boar.

I wonder if gluttons are more likely to die of heart disease or asphyxiation from swallowing too-large pieces of meat or handfuls of Milk Duds. Someone look that up for me.

Muchas danke to Laughing Squid.

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