LED Eyelashes
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These are aptly named. An ingenious piece of technology wrought from Asian women's desire to have larger eyes, these seem more fit for the drug-and-urine-splattered concrete floor of the next rave in Omaha, Nebraska.
11 of the Most Expensive Things for Sale on Amazon
I tried to curate my collection of 11 of the most expensive things for sale on Amazon not just according to their cost, but also their substance, how well they present, whether or not I looked at their price, read their...
50 Pearl-Laden Oysters
Simultaneously the most thoughtful and disgusting gift a girl could ever get. Each of these 50 freshwater oysters is guaranteed to have a real, 6mm to 7mm round akoya pearl inside. But here's the catch: uh, the pearls...
Iron Samurai Blue LED Watch
As if the opportunity to wear a segmented steel LED-lit wristband that might make people wonder if you're under house arrest isn't reason enough to complete this purchase, the fact that the Iron Samurai also possesses...
Fordite & Vintage Westinghouse Micarta Ring
Black Badger's Fordite & Vintage Westinghouse Micarta Ring is a funhouse of kaleidoscopic colors and a rare 1940s material the band's designer, James Thompson, calls "OG composite...fo shiz."...
Crown Nipple Rings (NSFW)
Maybe she calls herself a queen. Maybe she calls herself a princess. She's definitely some level of royalty. So I think it's time to bow down and crown her. No, lower. Nooooo...not that low. This crown is for her nipple...
Musch Musch Designs - Your Privates on a Pendant (NSFW)
And if you're not into your privates on a pendant, Musch Musch will also hand make (hand job?) photos of your very own penis, vagina, boobies, or butthole into a bracelet, a mug, or, for the ultimate dick pic, a 3D piece...
FLASHr iPhone Notification Case
FLASHr debuts on Kickstarter as New Orleans boys Trey DeArk and Terence Green's slick reappropriation of the iPhone's built-in LED camera flash and iOS' "LED Flash Alerts". A 3-part, multi-colored case, FLASHr intertwines...
Designer Star Wars Jewelry
Paul Bierker is a formally educated designer with a BFA in Jewelry Design and Graphic Design, and a BAMF in handcrafted Star Wars jewelry. Even I might wear a ladies' sapphire and diamond ring if it also looked like the...
Lumen Couture LED Face Changing Mask
Lumen Couture's LED Face Changing Mask isn't intended to be a funkified piece of pandemic PPE, though if you're ready to go all in on facial coverings, I guess it would serve you as well as your double-ply cloth options...
Dune Futuristic Rings
There are some cooooool cats over at Substance Jewelry making these Dune Futuristic Rings - and really all the rings available in the designers' Etsy shop. Each of the Dune Ring listings kicks off with a quote from Frank...
Collide Connecting Engagement & Wedding Rings for Men
Collide Rings, a set of connecting engagement and wedding rings for men, are for all the dudes out there who want to show the world they're taken from the moment their lady says, "Yes." Or, I suppose, Collide Rings are...
Dancing Water Speakers
Broadcast your beats to the world from your car with LED equalizer stickers, and broadcast your beats to your mama from the living room with these dancing water speakers. Don't worry, she'll love them. They'll remind...