Head Dome Umbrella
In the realms of both personal health and interpersonal communication, the Nubrella serves as an excellent form of preventative medicine. It will shield its wearer from everything from hostile weather conditions to airborne illnesses to being approached and spoken to by other human beings and probably most animals on account of the fact that it is a transparent, Buzz Lightyear-sized dome that encompasses the entirety of one's head and shoulders. Hey Cornelius, maybe you should get yourself a Nubrella and then at least when chicks diss you or respond to your advances with stonefaced silence you can blame what is actually a complete lack of game on the fact that you look like a special needs child.
Dude, that didn't even come close to hitting me. You're such a girl.
By the way, guy on the Segway wearing a neon reflective jacket and a Nubrella, if you don't get knocked off that thing and beat up by a gang of 10-year-olds in under a half mile, I will give you $1,000,000.
No, make that a nickel.