Emergency Underpants Dispenser
- Asshole Repellent - $6.89
- Oops I Sharted Myself Hand Sanitizer - $6.90
- Over the Hill Survival Kit - $15.38
- Canned Dragon Meat - $15.95
- USB Pet Rock - $13.45
I don't need to tell you that an Emergency Underpants Dispenser is more than just a novelty gift. You know how many times you've laughed so hard you peed your pants. How often you've unexpectedly encountered a large barking dog or an overweight cougar in leopard lingerie making duck face at you...for example...and had the shit scared out of you. That day you, against better judgment, got a carne asada taco from a Mexican street cart and sharted not 30 minutes later. The experiences are unpleasant no matter how you spin them, but at least with an easy-dispense box of spare underwear, you can, uh, wipe away their physical effects quickly, and then focus your real efforts on the emotional healing.
The Emergency Underpants Dispenser takes Emergency Underpants to the next level by providing buyers with not just one but five pairs of Emergency Underpants. This isn't to encourage frivolity with bowel and bladder maintenance, but simply a way to prepare for the hard truth: in life, shit happens and people get pissed on. Usually more than once.
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