This Christmas, give a turntable ring to your favorite 50-something frenemy along with a copy of A Visit from the Goon Squad, and grab a front row seat for the launch Mid-Life Crisis Part II. The record is even made of...

Not quite ready to make today's ironic tat trend a lifelong companion? Or even a week-long reminder that corporate America condemns those with conspicuous body art to careers in food service? These peel-off barcode tattoos...

A handmade, hand-dyed work of slumber and art that's stuffed with recycled quilts, lined with satin, and delivered to your door in 30 minutes or less. A scented model is currently in the works to increase the likelihood...

It's the relationship and commitment hairshirt! Currently available in "Always" and "Marry me", Inner Message Rings are the perfect way to say, "If you really love me, you'll wear this ring that never stops gouging your...

People just can't wait to pervert emblems of peace and goodwill, can they? First the benevolent garden gnome goes zombie and now he's Charlton Heston. Still, at under a foot tall, these combative cuties make perfect pairs--or...

When we, collectively as Americans, stumble onto something that catches on with the unintelligent majority, we immediately begin the process of running it into the ground. See: The Kardashians, Myspace and... bacon flavored...

The Levitron? Sweet. Someone is selling a 0-gravity amusement park ride. I bet you sit on the hovering black disc and try not to get bucked off as it bounces and spins wildly, right? And for only $99.99, you could probably...

Isn't everything that isn't a Kardashian bank account or body part supposed to be getting smaller? Especially image-capturing devices. But this throwable ball camera is uncomfortably large. It appears to have the same...

File your nails, open an impossibly packaged plastic container, pen a love letter, find your way through the dark when the electricity goes out, stab a would be mugger, and store 128 GB of files protected by an advanced...

GingerDEAD men. Huh. I wonder if the concept led to the name, or the name to the concept. Sometimes it's surprisingly hard to tell how people who go for obvious puns think. Anyway, have fun trying to frost between the...

Cobb's totem from the film Inception has ripped through the seams of fiction and is now available for purchase in stainless steel, glass, sandstone, and about a dozen other dreamy colors and materials. It spins 90 seconds...

Condoleezza Rice recently appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart to promote her memoir, No Higher Honor, and provide his liberal loyalists with fresh ammo for mocking her. Ms. Rice accomplished at least one of the...

Hey moms! Check it out... No more searching for that perfect stocking-stuffer for your teenage son. Customize these to say whatever it is you'd like... that's 5 characters or less. This is actually a pretty creative idea...

And finally, after more than 25 years, the long awaited update to the Commodore 64. This was my very first computer actually. My dad took me to NYC where he was shooting a commercial for a toy company. They had all of...

What took them so long? Although I'd prefer an Augustus Gloop drowning in chocolate bar, Han Solo's plight lends itself nicely to aiding in the fattening of America as well. Jabba The Hutt, although posing no long term...

More mysterious than how Pure Smoke works or what it's made of is why the spontaneous appearance of smoke is so cool. In other contexts, such as while baking, performing basic electrical upgrades, or 10 miles into your...

Turn your iPad into a virtual board game. Wait... isn't it already that and much more? Isn't this engineering in reverse? Aren't these tantamount to a real 3D bookmark for iBooks? Who cares, I'm getting them anyway. Steve...

Most of these obscenity bandages seem apropos for the injuries they will cover, but who yells, "Balls!" after slicing through Tallman instead of the onion? Seriously, is "Balls!" really anyone's go-to vulgarity when overcome...

If you're going to have a trippy terrarium ring protruding 3 inches from your finger, it may as well be filled with characters from the most bizarre tale of an acid trip ever passed for children's literature. Too bad...

Concussion, anyone? The Crossbow Snow Launcher blasts a sizable wad of hard-packed snow up to 60 feet to strike the included target (yeah, like that's ever making it out of the box) or wallop your deserving victim. Schoolyard...

This is one of those "It's funny 'cause it's true" jokes, isn't it? However, there are two inherent problems with its marketability. 1) Any sender who would get the joke would never take the time to obtain a mailing address...

I've been wanting to resemble an inbred my entire life. It's a difficult look to pull off though...convincingly at least. And without the look, my hopes of heading off into the sunset of the foothills of West Virginia...

A scene from a scary movie is sculpted in polymer clay under a glass dome and you can wear it on your finger. The perfect goth inspired engagement ring perhaps? Certainly a terrific conversation piece at the very least...

Somehow, Medusa and her snake head dress has been stolen from Greek mythology and now appears to be a spokeswoman for Halloween, a holiday with Roman origins. My only real knowledge of her comes from Clash of the Titans...