One thing that sucks about using a crowbar to beat someone up in a dark alley is the dark alley part. How are you supposed to tell if it's really connecting with the intended's face and other vital organs, or just delivering...

It's been two weeks since we last spotlighted a historically unlikely, but--given the current state of global madness--now entirely predictable food staple flavored with bacon. Bust out the red velvet sponge and cream...

As if the opportunity to wear a segmented steel LED-lit wristband that might make people wonder if you're under house arrest isn't reason enough to complete this purchase, the fact that the Iron Samurai also possesses...

The Bear Trap necklace. For when you need a little help landing that burly, bearded, beer-guzzlin', F-150-nuzzlin', buck-poppin', wood-choppin', bar-brawl-squelchin', Star-Spangled-Banner-belchin' homosexual in Carhartts...

An exact 1:6 replica of the Batmobile featured in The Dark Knight, created by Hong Kong's Hot Toys. The 29" long x 18 1/2" wide x 11" tall plastic model has functional headlights, a rooftop panel that opens and closes...

The making of New Year's resolutions is behind us, and now we enter the murky waters of keeping them. And since increased exercise and improved diet are both the most frequently tried, and most frequently failed quests...

With the advent of the Madden Football video games and fantasy football everyone thinks they know everything about football, regardless of if they've ever actually played the game or not. Now, you have a chance to put...

Even though it's scaled to 1/20th of its original size, this historically accurate replica of Edward the First's response to the 1304 siege on his Stirling Castle could still probably catapult most of your neighbors'...

This self-aerator eliminates the need to decant or let your wine rest after corking it, and the included wine glass eliminates the need to chug it straight from the bottle. Pour your cellar's best burgundy or zin into...

I don't think The Chippendales are in any danger, but the Nice Jewish Guys Calendar is certainly a good alternative. And you can display it proudly when Mom and Dad come over, or just make a quick switch before they arrive...

Boredom meets the boardroom with these stylish yet comfortable dress pant sweatpants. These chameleons of the fashion world, at first glance, look like fine charcoal wool trousers. But don't tell your legs that. They're...

What a fun way to track your world travels, or clever gift for your favorite ostentatious globetrotter with a mild gambling compulsion! One side of the 16.5" x 12" map is covered in a metallic patina that scratches off...

When zombies get to your neighborhood Voodoo priest, everyone wins! Sure, he's going to inhale the amygdalas directly from the heads of your loved ones, but as a reward for your assistance and cooperation, he'll convert...

Best friend relationships are difficult. It seems there always has to be a leader and a follower. How these roles are formed is a question best left to someone other then me. But these two, pee and poo, seem to have it...

Celebrities, Louis Vuitton, and your gold-digging ex have already proven that a $598 pooch accoutrement is perfectly reasonable, so let's not even bother balking at the price of this stylized, Jetsons-looking doggie lounge...

Do you believe in the power of the human mind? If you said yes, and you are not a Buddhist monk, yogi master, hypnotist, or cult leader, you probably also believe in The Force. But while belief in The Force is one thing...

When you can't remember if Mama said you can't hurry love, or if Mama said knock you out, it's best to cover all bases. These gleaming symbols of betrothal let everyone you encounter know you are blissfully off the market...

The lowest frequency noise a human ear can detect: a mouse. The highest: Mariah Carey. At least according to one points-for-creativity-deserving test taker included in F in Exams: The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers...

If you like these goomba cufflinks, you probably hate wearing the types of shirts that require cufflinks, so owning a pair might make the inevitable wedding, funeral, Christmas party, or arraignment you have to dress...

Ladies, the answer to your age-old question, "What are you thinking about?" has materialized in greeting card format. 78% of the time you query your man about his internal musings, this is the perpetual, 14-word loop...

How many plants have you accidentally sent to their death? The concept of dumping water in dirt seems like an easy one to master, but the recipients can be so finicky. Some want lots to drink, some just a sip; some guzzle...