Back Massage T-Shirts

$22 - $24 Etsy »

The medium is the massage, and the massage is a T-Shirt. A T-Shirt with a railroad play mat and accompanying locomotive, baby! And baby daddies! Becky of bkykid must be the envy of all moms who fancy themselves clever...

NapAnywhere Pillow

$46.47 Amazon »

Oh boy, and I think the NapAnywhere pillow looks just enough like a neck brace that I can convince suspicious parties I need it for medical reasons. Let me tell you some things I do not enjoy that will maybe become bearable...

Millennium Falcon Mirror

$399 Etsy »

What is this world coming to when one can have not just an entire Star Wars-themed room, but an entire room themed after just the series' Millennium Falcon? Awesome. This world is coming to awesome. If you already have...

Guy Code: Unleash Your Manhood

$0.99 Amazon »

Noah Levenson took 15 principles from MTV2's Guy Code and funneled them into his daily life in an attempt to realize his full potential as a man. The result? He has overtaken the body of Chuck Norris. Guy Code: Unleash...

Instant 2D to 3D Game Converter

Discontinued

The 3D Converter system extracts pertinent data from any video game and translates it into 3D format viewable on any 2D or 3D TV. Yep, Frogger in 3D on my 18" Sony from 2005. Now I know what all those elderly people at...

The Roddler - Hot Rod Baby Strollers

$4,495 Kid Kustoms »

I'd give myself about 40 minutes of pushing one of these hot rod fendered strollers around before dinging and scratching it up beyond recognition from skimming walls and banging into corners. Pushing a kid cart around...

Recycled Skateboard Sunglasses

$189.99 Etsy »

Recycled skateboards and bamboo join forces to battle the sun! Hipsters and panda bears are going to love this shit! Bamboo Skate Shades are handmade in Canada, with no two rolling out precisely the same. Available in...

Hammock Bathtub

Usually when people describe themselves they inflate the truth or do that reverse psychology trick where they say a bunch of self-deprecating things in an effort to convey the opposite meaning. In both cases they would...

Twinkind - 3D Printed Me

$295 - $1,689 Twinkind »

A miniature exact replica of mine own self, scanned and 3D printed to order? Hmmm. How about a gargantuan, like 10:1, 3D-printed twin that I can fill with air as I would a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade ballon and float...

Game of Thrones Cases

$48.95 Etsy »

Well I know which of Geekify's Game of Thrones eReader cases I wouldn't want: House Stark. Jon Snow may be the only literal illegitimate child of the Winterfell clan, but I feel like that whole family is some poooooor...

TiBolt Solid Titanium Bolt Action Pen

$115 - $125 JumpStartCity »

The only not titanium components in Brian Fellhoelter's TiBolt bolt action pen are the ink cartridge, spring, O-ring, and stylus nib. It's kind of like how the only not titanium components in my rock hard body are my...

Trucker's Friend Survival Tool

$89.99 Amazon »

I think it would be very uncomfortable to get axed in the head with this Trucker's Friend. I guess that's why they picked a zombie to play the receiving end of the axing-someone-in-the-head demonstration. So no one would...

The World Upside Down Goggles

$70.71 Grand Illusions »

The trickery of prisms strikes again! Here two hunks of Dove plexiglass fit over a pair of glasses' eyepieces to invert all images the wearer sees. Reversing Goggles make for interesting school science experiments, as...

5.3-Ounce Paper Shoes

$65 The UT Lab »

Shoes made out of paper?! What's next, condoms made out of lambskin?! Oh wait... Unbelievable Testing Laboratory has spent many a month devising and refining their Light Wing Tyvek shoes, a pair of sneakers that weigh...

Periodic Table of the Muppets

$18 - $45 Society 6 »

You're going to have to buy a print, T-shirt, hoodie, or tote bag of The Periodic Table of the Muppets if you want to see the details of this comprehensive compilation of Jim Henson's finest because the Internet is showing...

Skull Finger Sap

Sap is an interesting word because it can connote both a sorry, pathetic loser and an object of grit and power that will F your S up. Here we will talk about the second version of sap because, in honor of summer's official...

Microsuede CleanSquare Oxford

$98 Voy Voy »

Voy Voy's first shirt venture, conducted through Kickstarter, is of the T persuasion, and has the interesting flourish of a built-in pocket square that can either hold a wallet or phone, or invert to a peacockish display...

iFetch Automatic Ball Launcher

$129.99 Amazon »

iFetch isn't the first automatic ball launcher for dogs, but it's about half the cost of the Go Dog Go, and I am more partial to iFetch's video of the dancing Boston Terrier than I am to Go Dog Go's of the spastic Puggle...

Sex Positions You Never Thought Possible (NSFW)

$128 Amazon »

Remember that one time you let some chick drag you to hot yoga because she too was hot and you wanted to see her do bendy things in spandex pants, but then you ended up spending the whole class lying on your back trying...

The FlaskTie

Discontinued

While I don't condone sleeping on a tie at work, I must say I have generally found my productivity (and genius!) levels to be highest after a few swigs of Grey Goose. So drinking out of a tie at work = acceptable. In...

Vault 101 Hoodie

$58 Bethesda »

Mmm, I smell a Cake Bake-Off coming on. Residents of Vault 101 take note: I will accept submissions of the sponge variety only this year. A fleece zip-up nod to the Fallout series, Bethesda's Vault 101 hoodie is passable...

Tron Cycling Skinsuit

Discontinued

One thing I learned recently is that cyclists call their little outfits "kits". Isn't that precious? So here is a Tron kit for all of the bicycling Tron fans out there, as well as the far larger number of normal, non-bicycling...

Breathalyzer Watch

Like playing the bagpipes and rolling your eyeballs into the back of your sockets, I would prefer that you not drink and drive, even if you're really good at it. Tokyoflash agrees, and so has proceeded with development...

The Dog Treadmill

Sold Out Amazon »

I don't understand why the dog needs a treadmill. 1) Can't its human owner just take it outside to run around, or 2) can't it just use the treadmill its human owner already has? Oh wait, now that I've written it down...