Garden

Original Ultimate Hose Nozzle

$28.99 Amazon »

If you always wanted to be a firefighter but never became a firefighter, how about being a car washer or flower waterer with a fire hose nozzle instead? The Original Ultimate Hose Nozzle from Bon-Aire has the same virtually...

Tardigrade Steel Hose

$12.99 - $33.99 Amazon »

If anyone knows about extinction events it's tardigrades and my mama's garden hoses. Tardigrades, also known as water bears and moss piglets, are tiny - wee-wee-wee-wee-tiny all the way home - water animals that have...

Inflatable Rocketship Sprinkler

$69 Amazon »

FUNBOY's Inflatable Rocketship Sprinkler has landed, and it's packed with stories of stars, space, and, more importantly, 4 "jets" that spray 360 degrees of hose water. The 8' tall rocket is an official piece of summertime...

Plow & Hearth Roll-Out Hardwood Pathway

$79.99 Amazon »

Dude. What I would give for my mama to have seen Plow & Hearth's Roll-Out Hardwood Pathway last spring before she saw these godforsaken DIY (read: guilt-your-son-into-doing-for-you) walkway path molds. That is, like...

Trackside Sound Reactive Fire Pit

This new track is on fire! It's not from Beyonce or Travis Scott either. Or Bruce Springsteen. Dad. It isn't even the song kind of track - though it can definitely rock out with the best of them. Dad. This track comes...

Rhino BaseMate Patio Umbrella Base Weight Planter

$24.90 - $27.90 Amazon »

I just hauled 250 pounds of sand from Home Depot to my mama's house so she - oh, I mean I - could put it in her new patio umbrella, and now she sees the Rhino BaseMate patio umbrella base weight planter and is all, Ooh!...

Giant Custom Cedar Letter Planter

$400 Etsy »

Should you send your lady flowers or a heartfelt letter? How about a heartfelt letter filled with flowers? The Hamilton Design Co. custom builds these giant cedar wood planters in the shape of your preferred letter of...

Starry Night Sun Shade Sail

$41.96 - $42.96 Amazon »

Inject some Sandy-Danny levels of romance into those su-u-mer...niii-hiiightsss! with this sail-style sun shade, a triangle canopy studded with a sky full of LED stars. Its fairy lights come in warm yellow and colored...

9' Solar Powered LED Lighted Patio Umbrella

$119.99 Amazon »

Shade and charging when the sun's out, the illumination of 8 LED tubes and a center pendant light when it's not. This 9' patio umbrella has a solar powered battery that sucks up the sun's rays throughout the day, and...

Picnic Table Squirrel Feeder

Sold Out Amazon »

As cute 'n' clever as this Picnic Table Squirrel Feeder is, I'm confused. Aren't most people trying to keep squirrels out of their yards? And, more specifically, the F away from their wildlife feeders? I know my mama...

Flying Saucer LED Kite

$88.99 Amazon »

Know what we need? A UFO prank, courtesy of this Flying Saucer LED Kite, to get everyone's minds off the coronavirus pandemic. All these people stuck inside, anxious and panicking about their jobs, their futures, their...

4' Tall St. Patrick's Day T-Rex

Sold Out Amazon »

This St. Patrick's Day T-Rex is only 4' tall because he's a T-Rexprachaun! A Lepra-Rex! A Wee-Rex!...

Seedles - Regional US Wildflower Seed Balls

$17.50 - $29 Amazon »

Seedle on into spring with Seedles, seed balls packed with the makings of a byoo-tee-ful garden of wildflowers native to the area where you live. Seedles come in batches ready to sprout the bounties of the United States'...

Loll Bee Hive

$1,595 Loll Designs »

Single-handedly save the honeybees from your backyard with the modern Loll Bee Hive! Or, you know, just do your own small part for the local ecosystem, plus learn how many bee stings it takes to make a grown man cry...

Garden Genie Gloves with Claws

$9.99 Wal-Mart »

Performing gardening chores and yard work for my mama this spring is gonna be way more fun with a pair of these Garden Genie Gloves...with Claws! Diggin' through the dirt like a lion or a dragon or, well, since it's...

2'-Wide Dragon's Eye Candle Holder

$129.95 Wind & Weather »

This dragon doesn't breathe fire. He blinks it. With a romantic flicker. And in a big way. The Dragon's Eye Candle Holder is a ceramic sculpture that measures almost 2' across. You can place a candle up to the task of...

Quaruba Outdoor Wood Stove

Quaruba, Jamaica / oooh I wanna make ya / a stylish and modern / wood stove for the garden... In the Quaruba outdoor wood-burning stove Dutch designers rb73 have created a cubical, modular piece to heat up your nights...

Recompose Human Body Composting Service

$7k Recompose »

The plants will grow and the rivers will flow over my dead body. Literally. For real. No joke. On May 21, 2019, Washington State legalized "the contained, accelerated conversion of human remains to soil." Recompose, a...

Foldable Telescoping Rake

$39.99 Amazon »

What blooms in the fall? This foldable telescoping rake from Professional EZ Travel Collection is here to make a tedious, back-breaking job fast, easy, and super fun...

Waspinator Wasp Nest Decoy

$6.99 Amazon »

Not sure how much hanging a Waspinator wasp nest decoy off the eaves of your roof is going to do for your home's aesthetics - the thing looks like a bathroom can trash bag - but if you're worried about wasp or hornet...

Velda Floating Pond Bubble

Discontinued

The Velda Floating Pond Bubble moves the PetPeek dog window from your fence to your fish pond. The 28" ball floats filled on the water's surface, giving typical subsurface dwellers, such as koi and goldfish, the chance...

The Wheelbench

$665 - $885 Weltevree »

Rogier Martens designed the Wheelbench to make it easier to haul Grandma and Grandpa from the back porch to the dinner table to the car when it's time to go to Bingo...

Stranger Things 6-1/2' Tall Demogorgon Yard Sprinkler

$99 Amazon »

The Stranger Things Demogorgon may have only had abduction and murder in store for the citizens of Hawkins, Indiana in 1983, but this is 2019. Age of sensitivity and cultural understanding. Now all the Demogorgon wants...

Floating Crocodile Pool & Pond Decoy

$82.14 Amazon »

I still can't tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator. With all the fake news and misinformation floating around the web, I also can't say for sure whether this listing for a floating crocodile pool and...