Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes

Posted: February 23, 2020
Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes
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Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes by Paul "Fotie" Photenhauer serves as a reminder to be careful what you wish for. For example, if a dude asks what you want for dessert, consider a plate of Creamy Cum Crepes before saying, "You!" And when you think you want him inside you so bad, let the espresso-, brandy-, and semen-soaked ladyfingers in a piece of Natural Harvest's Tiramisu make a quick, er, spurt into your head before you voice your desires.

And don't think my warnings are just for the ladies, dudes. There's another very Natural reason women who aren't trying to get pregnant go to the sperm bank. Plus, if your date is out of the 1 tablespoon of semen required for an Irish Coffee with Extra Cream, a simple Google search for recipe substitutes will surely tell her in pinch smegma works just fine too.

As far as I can tell, which isn't much since I'm still too grossed out to think straight, ol' Fotie isn't trying to pull our ol' legs with Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes. He says, "Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties." Then he compares it to fine wine and cheeses. Great. No more wine or cheese for me.

A quick look inside Natural Harvest also indicates its recipes are legit, albeit predominantly standard versions of recipes with a small amount of semen thrown in here and there to ignite discussion, controversy, and gag reflexes. Think Craptails x 100.

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