Blue Zoca Waterproof & Pet-Proof Blanket

Posted: December 01, 2021
Blue Zoca Waterproof & Pet-Proof Blanket
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I mean, I hate to call Blue Zoca speciesist, but why did they need to deem their blanket waterproof and pet-proof? Like a naturally occurring liquid and your sweetest, furriest, bestest friend on Earth are the only two things that put your blankets at risk of ruin. What about humans, and their own wet hair and dirty feet? Their fat, clumsy meathooks trying to drink a sodie without pausing Mario Kart? What about babies with leaky diapers and toddlers who haven't been potty trained?

Speaking of which, if you check out the Blue Zoca image gallery, there is a photo that lists 4 different uses for the waterproof & pet-proof blanket. One of them is "incontinence." And who's in the photo? A poor old golden retriever and a poor old grandma. And it's very clear to me that Blue Zoca is trying to politely point out that their souped-up, proofed-up blanket will protect your couch from both.

Did I say speciesist? Let me correct myself. Speciesist and ageist.

Alright, alright, enough /s (which, if you didn't catch it, encompasses all of the above.) Blue Zoca's 65" x 80" blanket is waterproof and pet-proof not just for pets, but especially for pets, who might otherwise drip, drool, pee, shed, muddy up, or claw your bed and furniture. The blanket protects what's underneath from all of these, and Blue Zoca says its waterproofing is built in, and won't wash out, so no liquid will ever leak through.

I'd be remiss, and not the dude that I am, if I didn't share that in addition to dogs and cats in the bed, Blue Zoca recommends their blanket for use by couples in the bed, enjoying "intimate moments." Yes, that's right, a waterproof blanket for all the gels and juices of sexy time!

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