Starfleet Machine Clock

Posted: July 30, 2014
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According to Swiss engineering lab MB&F, the "Starfleet Machine is an intergalactic spaceship-cum-table clock." Man. I write countless strange, hyperbolic, and often idiotic descriptions of products every single day yet that one, from a respectable, award-winning company in Switzerland, somehow sounds the most ridiculous to me of all. They're talking like intergalactic spaceships exists in the first place. And like if they did the most natural thing to do would be to turn them into table clocks. And then they throw the word "cum" in there for good measure. And best of all, when you peel away all of the layers of linguistic onion, what you find is that MB&F is selling a $30,000+ Star Trek clock.

Not to say it isn't magnificent.

I mean, it looks pretty sweet anyway. Starfleet Machine was engineered and crafted by L'Epee 1839, a high-end manufacturer of specialized clocks, according to MB&F's design. Orbital docking station-inspired hours and minutes tick away through hand-polished hands circling around a central black dome, while double retrograde seconds are kept in turret-mounted laser cannons just below 12 o'clock. Behind the main dome lies a smaller rotating dome and revolving radar dish depicting the clock's remaining energy. Five bars indicates full power, or 40 days of Starfleet time telling, and 1 bar means the Machine is running low on propellant and has 8 days of remaining power.

The red-tipped cannons managing Starfleet Machine's seconds add additional visual interest as they start parallel to one another, cross over, and shoot back out again in 20-second intervals.

Starfleet Machine clocks will be sold as a limited edition of 175. They are available in Light or Dark versions--Terok Nor Prime and Terok Nor Mirror?--both with stainless steel bodies, and the latter with ruthenium-finished components.

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