Super Mario Bros. Toilet Seat
/super-mario-bros-toilet-seat-4072.jpg "Super Mario Bros. Toilet Seat")
Every Super Mario Bros. Marathon on the Web deserves a Super Mario Bros. Toilet Seat on the head. Etsy vendor Debra Hughes hand paints these porcelain god lids in pixelated scenes taken from the original Super Mario Bros. video game we all (and by all, I mean those of us over 30) remember fondly as our favorite childhood babysitter. 8-bit bricks, goombas, a piranha plant in a pipe, all the good stuff awaits those ready to put their excretory systems to use anywhere from 5 to 125 times a day. Now granted, lifting little Mario gallivanting through the Mushroom Kingdom may not be as satisfying as gallivanting him myself with a Fully Functional Nintendo Controller Coffee Table, but at least this way I won't be tempted to stay on the couch just a few seconds longer than my bladder can hold out.
Toilet Seat Mario arrives ready to affix, and is treated with a triple coat of polyurethane to protect it from the kiddos and adults with inordinately poor aim.
/thirsty-goose-portable-mens-62037.jpg?mode=crop "Thirsty Goose Portable Men's Urinal")
Thirsty Goose Portable Men's Urinal
It's Small Business Saturday! Support your local artisans, your Mom & Pop shops, your independent businesspeople just trying to keep their storefronts alive in the face of corporate death-dealing, your...Thirsty Goose...
/cactus-toilet-plunger-brush-62179.jpg?mode=crop "Cactus Toilet Plunger & Brush Set")
Cactus Toilet Plunger & Brush Set
The unsung heroes of Christmas: toilet plungers and brushes. After all the Christmas morning casseroles and spiked coffees, Christmas Day cookies and eggnog, Christmas dinner hams and ambrosia salads, and Christmas dessert...
/toilet-sword-61550.jpg?mode=crop "Toilet Sword Better-Than-a-Plunger Drain Snake")
Toilet Sword Better-Than-a-Plunger Drain Snake
Toilet Sword, you have my attention. For your sword-y design, of course. For your self-description as "revolutionary." And most of all, for your claim that you are better than a plunger, because, as my post-Loaded Chili...
Dude Wipes
Dude Wipes: A Brief Overview of Audience and Application. Dude Wipes are for dudes. And every once in while--say, every 18 to 24 hours--dudes tend to have an especially...explosive...encounter with the bathroom. The kind...
/The-Shit-Box-1204.jpg?mode=crop "The Shit Box")
The Shit Box
For some, the rush of peace and relaxation associated with smoking marijuana are unparalleled. So when innovative people who are desperate to toke out find themselves without a prefabricated bong or pipe, they improvise...
/the-cleanshot-bidet-photo-59643.jpg?mode=crop "The CleanShot Bidet & Photo Booth")
The CleanShot Bidet & Photo Booth
Dudes, have you yet to accept the wonder and benevolence of bidets into your hearts? If so, I've got something to, shall we say, sweeten the pot for you. The CleanShot. A bidet that rinses and dries your junk, and then...
/shine-bathroom-make-your-40702.jpg?mode=crop "Shine Bathroom - Make Your Toilet Self-Cleaning")
Shine Bathroom - Make Your Toilet Self-Cleaning
Here we go with another robot taking over a human's job. The Shine Bathroom Assistant is aiming to force you out of your toilet cleaning tasks with an automated design and chemical-free sanitizing pods. What a punk!...
Charmin Forever Roll
I know what they say about diamonds, but Charmin, a toilet paper roll that's forever? Why...why...yes! I do!...
Squatty Potty - Posturally Correct Pooping
"Squatting to eliminate is healthier." Golly I love the Squatty Potty's euphemistic appeal to my sense of self-preservation. Sitting on my porcelain sidekick with my feet resting on a 9" stool, torso pitched forward approximately...
/deeply-satisfying-poo-in-60672.jpg?mode=crop "Deeply Satisfying Poo In Progress Bathroom Warning Sign")
Deeply Satisfying Poo In Progress Bathroom Warning Sign
People think it's nasty, or at least poor manners at the dinner table, to talk about poo. Poo consistency. Poo shapes. Poo volume. And even poo feelings, which I particularly don't understand, because in every other aspect...
/the-super-mario-bros-movie-59697.jpg?mode=crop "The Super Mario Bros. Movie TRUFF Hot Sauce")
The Super Mario Bros. Movie TRUFF Hot Sauce
The Super Mario Bros. Movie has teamed up with TRUFF Hot Sauce to bring a spicy collaboration to all the gamers, heat seekers, and just plain ol' fungis out there. TRUFF x Super Mario Bros. Hot Sauce drops as a limited...
Mario Piranha Plant Glass Pipe
If you "fertilize" it properly and approach it from the right end, not only will the Piranha Plant not kill you, it will actually ease any pain you may have, and make you feel blissfully content. Though also maybe hungry...