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- Ka-Bar Black Kukri Machete - $42.70
- Milspec Biohazard "Zombie Mauler" Fixed Blade Knife - $21.99
- Gerber Gator Machete - $35.22
Am I tired of zombies? Mmm...not really. Am I tired of ominous-looking, exceptionally hand-smithed swords and knives and machetes with blades sharp enough to slice through 24 cans of PBR in one blow (and a few tries)? Definitely not. Zombie Tools crafts all of its undead- and beer-slaying weapons out of their shop in Missoula, Montana using American-made steel and aluminum. Sword shapes are cut from 5160 spring steel, and then heated and hammered into shape before undergoing an initial grinding process, a hardening at 1500 degrees F, and then a kiln tempering at 450 to bring flexibility back (that's right, the sexy never left). Handles are fashioned from T6 aluminum and attached with steel pins.
Zombie Tools proffers about 14 different blades, all with names as killer as their aesthetics--and their blows; these are not toys, young ladies and gentlemen. Choose from the likes of the Felon, the Bone Machete, the Zakasushi, the Mack Daddy-O, and the Hellion. Some selected specifics:
- The Felon. Zombie Tools' "homage to the badassery of big Jim Bowie and the American knifemaking tradition." The knife measures 20" long and has a 12" edge. It's heavy enough to reign a decisive blow (and possibly hellfire) but also long enough for classic cut-and-thrust swordplay. Includes a hammer point along the spine. Weight: 2 pounds 2 ounces.
- The Hellion. A "26-inch tongue of ferric fury fit to deliver a lashing." The blade's profile, a down-turned tip and bellied cutting edge, is modeled after ancient Hellenic kopis and Iberian falcata. A slim waist and wide bevel grind earn it kudos as the lightest and fastest blade for its length in ZT's collections. Blade length: 20"; grip length: 4-1/4"; weight: 2 pounds.
- The Mack Daddy-O. Smacks of the Chinese great sword, or dadao, and carries the same smack-down abilities. Two feet of blade, flat ground to an edge from 1/4" 5160 steel, "yielding four pounds of cutting mao-mentum that could almost certainly decapitate a unicorn." [This entire article could be one long Zombie Tools quote. These F'ers aren't just the best at their job, they're the best at mine too.] Total length: 42"; blade length: 24"; weight: 4 pounds 13 ounces.
Thanks to DJ H. for giving us the Zombie Tools heads up via Dude Product Tips.