Stun Gun Gloves
Nothing communicates strength and confidence better than a firm handshake. Except, perhaps, a weak handshake administered by a hand wearing one of these stun gun gloves. Holy BZZZZZZT! Batman! I thought I'd seen my #1 Bad Idea of 2019 when I covered this ballistic dart launcher.
But I suppose if the last few years have taught us anything, it's that just when you think you've seen the worst, the worst gets even worse.
Advertised as "police stun gloves," but available for purchase by any asshole, the faux leather hand covers use a low-voltage pulse current to contract any human muscles on their receiving end, and temporarily debilitate the poor bastard you suckered into shaking on it.
Stun gun gloves are powered by 1 x AAA battery installed in a small pack embedded at the top of the wrist. They seem to activate immediately when you turn on the pack and shake hands or grab and offender's wrist, but usage instructions aren't explicit. Probably best to buy a pair and test them out on your friend Cornelius first.
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun
When it comes to delivery method, punching someone in the face has 3 tiers of awesome: 1) Bare fist; 2) Fist coated in brass knuckles; 3) Fist coated in brass knuckles juiced up to deliver 950,000 volts of blue lightning...
/social-distancing-zapper-46585.jpg?mode=crop "Social Distancing Zapper")
Social Distancing Zapper
What's the buzz? Yer keister, mister, when I Social Distancing Zapper ya for encroaching into my 6 feet of personal space!...
The Peacemaker - Nightstick Stun Gun
Peacemaker sounds noble. Civil. The Ned Stark approach. Which also connotes decapitation of he who bears the peace. When we're discussing a nightstick charged with 6,000,000 volts of blood-buzzing electricity, Peaceforcer...
Yellow Jacket - iPhone Stun Gun Case
In an act of retaliation against its relegation to the uncomfortably jarring vibrate setting, the iPhone has summoned the Yellow Jacket, and plans to return the favor. In the form of a body-rocking 650,000 volts. The...
/pet-defender-stun-sticks-14733.jpg "Pet Defender Stun Sticks")
Pet Defender Stun Sticks
Arc Angel Industries' Pet Defenders are canes and walking sticks that double as inconspicuous stun guns. So that when you're out plastic baggying little Coco's numero dos to impress his (incredibly hot female that you...
Lightning Reaction Reloaded - A Shocking Game
Well I hope the Reloaded version of Lightning Reaction doesn't follow in the footsteps of The Matrix and suck. Or maybe it's being cheeky and willingly emulating the trilogy's second installment--in the sense that while...
/sting-ring-24029.jpg "Sting Ring")
Sting Ring
Who wants a fist bump? The Sting Ring is the newest beast in my menagerie of self defense tools. My digital menagerie. I don't own one of the single finger knuckle dusters, and I have no idea how effectively its 18,000,000...
O-Mega Star Warrior Stun Gun
But officer, it's just a movie prop. See, they used an O-Mega Star Warrior Stun Gun in Demolition Man, Con-Air, and The Last Boy Scout. I'm just role-playing and...ow! I see you are not. Can you at loosen those cuffs...
/6000000-volt-flashlight-stun-19923.jpg "6,000,000-volt Flashlight Stun Gun")
6,000,000-volt Flashlight Stun Gun
And, ladies, since the pink one looks like some kind of pleasure toy, an attacker will never see this flashlight's 6,000,000 volts of Go F with someone else coming. Guard Dog Security's Inferno stun gun lights the way...
/ultra-compact-stun-gun-26287.jpg "Ultra-Compact Keychain Stun Gun")
Ultra-Compact Keychain Stun Gun
It may look like a car fob but the only thing Guard Dog's Hornet Keychain Stun Gun is gonna unlock is 6,000,000 volts of pain and paralysis. Guard Dog say it's the smallest and lightest stun gun in the world, and a super...
/cell-phone-stun-gun-41328.jpg?mode=crop "Terminator Cell Phone Stun Gun")
Terminator Cell Phone Stun Gun
"I'll be ba-ZZZZZZT!" There's your Terminator. "New phone, who diZZZZZZT!" There's your cell phone. ZZZZZZT! them together and what do you get? The Terminator Cell Phone Stun Gun...
Gotcha Cap Self Defense Tool
You can watch the video to see the Gotcha Cap in action, or click here to watch a GIF of it showing a punk ass watermelon what's up. Issued by FAB Defense, the Gotcha Cap is a covert self defense tool (and swell hat!)...