Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun
- Self Defense Penis - $6.80
- Cut a Bitch Hairbrush with Hidden Dagger - $8.34
- Cell Phone Stun Gun - $19.35
- Survival Harpoons - $12.46
- Riot Gear: Groin Protector - $72.95
- Black Camo Combat Shirt - $34.99
When it comes to delivery method, punching someone in the face has 3 tiers of awesome: 1) Bare fist; 2) Fist coated in brass knuckles; 3) Fist coated in brass knuckles juiced up to deliver 950,000 volts of blue lightning upon impact. The Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun is top-tier awesome. It requires only two lithium batteries and the flip of an easily accessible safety switch at the thumb to zap attackers senseless, and give victims time to escape. Or time to turn the tables on the bastards and steal their shit. The knuckles also come with a nylon belt holster, making them the ideal travel companion and bodyguard on trips to potentially unsafe destinations. Now you can feel confident along the Mexican border, on the streets of East St. Louis, and around most Canadians.
The Blaster measures 4 5/16" x 3 1/4" x 1 1/8", and is made of a pliable rubber material that accommodates all hand sizes, and makes the wearer feel at one with the knuckles. In fact, after a certain point, harnessing and commanding electricity becomes more of a superpower--deserving of a superhero name and costume--than a programmed mechanism of a removable accessory. However, should said superpower malfunction at any point during its first year of use, it will be treated or replaced at no additional charge.