Willy Wonka Flask

Posted: February 19, 2013
Willy Wonka Flask
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Willy Wonka looks bound and determined to F you up. Check out that sinister smirk. Like he's doing the devil's bidding. I bet he's left-handed too. Which means he'll encourage you to take swigs from your Wonka Flask with your left hand as well so you guys don't bump elbows and inadvertently dribble Fireball on your chins. Fireball, by the way, is a libation spawned by Satan (if you don't believe me, look at the label). That's why it's so delicious. Satan is a good cook. Eve would not have lasted 5 minutes in the Garden if God had traded out the apples for a Lucifer Especiale Fireball Whiskey tree.

So anyway, The Flask Shop has coated this 6 oz. stainless steel spirit container with the painted likeness of the Chocolate Factory's famed maestro. As played by Gene Wilder, not Johnny Depp. Geez, if they managed to make Gene's Willy Wonka look this creepy, one glance at Johnny Depp's immortalized on a flask and I'd probably have a heart attack. Encircling the image are the words: "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker." That's sound advice. The next time I'm trying to decide between a box of Nerds and a bottle of tequila I'll keep it in mind.

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