Coco Jack Coconut Cracking Tools

Posted: March 05, 2014
$42 - $102
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I don't always crack open coconuts, but when I do...I usually require stitches, lose the use of my left thumb for several days, and get my mouthed washed out with soap by my mama. Coco Jack, a stainless steel push-and-pry tool, endeavors to eliminate the difficulty, frustration, and injury often associated with opening a coconut. Used in combination with the Coco Mallet, Coco Jack's makers say even a 5'2", 100-pound young lady, or a 5'2", 100-pound weenie man, can easily access the exotic coconut's internal chamber to partake in its delectable nectar and fleshly pleasures.

The Coco Jack line was developed to penetrate only young Thai coconuts. (Yeah, go ahead and ponder that for a minute. Then right your dirty mind and move on.) And while that means it won't work on mature or hairy coconuts, a look at the video indicates the tools are pretty much infallible on the variety they are intended to serve. If used correctly, Coco Jack will crack your nut in about 6 seconds.

The procedure unfolds as follows:

  • Place the Coco Jack hollow side down squarely on the steeple of your coconut. Hold its handle firmly--like, chicken-choking firmly--so the coconut doesn't slip away from you.
  • Using the outside of the Coco Mallet, deliver a few blows to the outside of the Coco Jack. 5 or 6 should do the trick, and cause the jack to push through the coconut at an angle, or dip.
  • Set the Mallet down and, holding the coconut with your Mallet hand, press downward on the handle of the Coco Jack to pry back the thick layers of coconut skin.
  • Once open, slide your hand up the handle, stick your thumb inside the Coco Jack hole, and lift the tool away. There you go. Coconut open and ready for ingestion.

Signature Coco Jack sets include the Jack, the Coco Mallet, and a lifetime guarantee. The Jack's grip has been designed for optimal shock absorption and comfort, using the same material developed to absorb the vibration from lawn mowers. Upgraded Coco Jack sets also include a Coco Scoop and Noodler tool. The Scoop has a flexible stainless steel loop that conforms to the walls of young Thai coconuts to assist with scraping out their flesh. The Noodler carves thin or thick "noodles" from the walls of empty coconuts for use in recipes, salads, or garnishes. With the coconut water still inside, the Noodler can also scoop out blobs reminiscent of tapioca balls for slurping up through a thick straw Bubble Tea-style.

Muchas danke to Mitch T. for the Dude Product Tip.

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