Bytox Hangover Prevention Patch

Posted: November 04, 2012
Bytox Hangover Prevention Patch

Bytox Hangover Prevention Patch: Argument in Favor.

Gobble, gobble. Just a few short weeks 'til Thanksgiving. That magical day of gorging on bread and cheese, watching football, downing a few festive pints of Sam Adams, gorging on turkey, watching football, downing a few festive glasses of bubbly, gorging on candied yams, watching football, downing a few festive nips of Scotch, gorging on pies pumpkin, pecan, and apple, watching football, and downing a few festive glasses of port. Which also means just a few short weeks 'til the Friday after Thanksgiving. That odious day of Tums, Pepcid, puking, Excedrin, Advil, a flat can of Coke, repeated negotiations with my GI tract, and sciatic nerve pain from spending too many hours on the john. Or is it?

Dr. Leonard Grossman says, "Nay."

Grossman created the Bytox Hangover Prevention Patch's Vitamin B-based formula to replenish what is lost during the process of alcohol consumption due to the latter's diuretic effect. When these nutrients diminish, it wreaks havoc on the central nervous system, and creates the symptoms we associate with a hangover. But if applied 45 minutes before consuming alcohol, and worn properly, the Bytox Patch quickly and perpetually reups the vitamins and minerals essential to the body's state of not feeling like a bile-filled empanada smothered in cranial explosion sauce.

To use the Bytox Patch, hold it by the corner and apply to a dry, hairless area on your body (good luck with that, 58.5% of men and 7.2% of women). Again, this should be done 45 minutes before the revelry commences. Keep the patch on for at least 8 hours post-libation enjoyment. And in the meantime, stay hydrated. That's it. Minimal effort, potentially life-changing--or at least lazy-Sunday-changing--results.

Argument in Favor Presented By: Dude I Want That.

Bytox Hangover Prevention Patch: Argument Against.

People who spend 6 to 12 hours enjoying life to the fullest deserve to spend the next 12 to 24 hours regretting every second of it.

Argument Against Presented By: People who do not enjoy life; the makers of antacids and pain meds; your mom.

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