I Love Your Penis Box of Chocolates

Posted: February 14, 2020
I Love Your Penis Box of Chocolates
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Guess which dude got an I Love Your Penis box of chocolates this morning for Valentine's Day? Yep, that's right, my Aunt Jan's new boyfriend. What this dude got? A phone call from my mama telling me all about it. Gah! Blah! I almost threw up the delicious bacon and cheese waffles my wife made me all over the heartfelt Back Alley Hooker card she left along with them.

The I Love Your Penis box from What Candy Says LLC comes with 15 scrumptious cubic chocolate letters with an even more toothsome message. Well, maybe toothsome isn't the best choice of words here. What Candy Says squeezes out all the chocolates by hand, topping their milk chocolate pedestals with white chocolate lettering. Each character in the best possible message a woman could transmit containing the opening words "I love" is on an approximately 1" square brick of chocolate that's 1/2" thick.

Even if you're too late to buy your guy an I Love Your Penis box of chocolates this Valentine's Day, don't feel like it's too late to share the sentiment. You could spell it out with an icing tube on a jumbo chocolate bar or a sheet cake or your naked self, and I'm sure the level of appreciation would be exactly the same.

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