Equipment

ClimbStation Climbing Wall Treadmill

Uh, is the ClimbStation climbing wall treadmill a sporting good or a nightmare? A fun way to stay fit and simulate rock climbing indoors, or the conveyor belt of vertical horror in the REM sleep I can't wake up from?...

EMS Butt Toner & Hip Trainer

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I smell a ssssssnake. In oil form. Please don't buy an EMS butt toner and hip trainer with the expectation that it's going to give you an ass like the lade in the above image. Actually, don't buy an EMS (that's electrical...

Chair Gym - The Total Body Workout

$144.95 Amazon »

Oh boy, Dad, this one's for you. The Chair Gym appears to express no irony in calling itself an all-in-on total body workout system that's "great for all fitness levels." I would add, particularly the fitness levels who...

WalkingPad Slim, Folding Treadmill

$499 Amazon »

Flat white, flat iron steak, flat earth, flat treadmill. Hooray for flat! And the WalkingPad treadmill's slim design isn't even the coolest thing about it. This piece of home (or office) gym equipment is also foldable...

EdgeCross X Home & Portable Gym

$194.99 Amazon »

The EdgeCross X, a home and portable gym consisting of a handled barbell, balance wheel, and resistance bands, says it can provide a total body workout that will rip you like an Olympic athlete in just 10 minutes per...

Assault Fitness AirRunner

Sold Out Amazon »

Go from 11MPH to 0MPH to the couch in 2 seconds flat with the AirRunner treadmill trainer. From Assault Fitness, who also make the CrossFit-loved AirBike, the AirRunner runs on human power. Your movement gets the belt...

Plexus Wheel Sport for Muscle & Back Pain Relief

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The Plexus Wheel Sport digs deep. And that's probably what you're going to have to do too to sustain the initial discomfort you'll feel pressing on and rolling along these easers of the back pain, and relaxers of the...

KettleBaby - Turn Your Kid into a Fitness Tool

$60 KettleBaby »

KettleBaby has determined you don't need to spend a wad on web-connected bikes and treadmills, on-demand workout subscriptions, or VR trainers built into your mirror to get a stellar home workout. You just need to have...

Hydrow Live Outdoor Reality Rowing Machine

$1,999 - $2,599 Hydrow »

With on-demand fitness classes enjoying a run as the hot trend in home workouts, the Hydrow rowing machine follows the Peloton bike template of offering up on-demand and live rowing experiences on a precision-engineered...

Gorilla Bow Portable Home Gym

$179.99 Amazon »

If the R3BAR AlphaPro doesn't have enough curves to fit your type of strength and conditioning tool, check out the Gorilla Bow. Another portable home gym that incorporates resistance bands for muscle building, the Gorilla...

BaseBlocks Portable Fitness Trainer

$169.99 BaseBlocks »

Hey, BaseBlocks seem cool. I've been looking for ways to practice falling on my face and taking hunks of wood to the crotch. Just like a gymnast in training!...

Jacob's Ladder Gronk Edition Step Machine

$5,299 Amazon »

I was surprised to learn that calling this Jacob's Ladder step machine the "Gronk Edition" doesn't mean Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski agreed to another paid endorsement deal. It means the entire Gronkowski family...

R3BAR AlphaPro Strength & Conditioning Tool

Sold Out Amazon »

The fact that the R3BAR AlphaPro looks like a really fun piece of exercise equipment probably means every rep of every which way you use the strength and conditioning tool is going be pure torture. But maybe you're an...

1UP Gravity Pro - Bungee Workout Trainer

Sold Out Amazon »

Bouncy bungee "workouts" are apparently a new fad in the fitness industry, and now, with a few screws and a high enough ceiling, you can get in on the cardio, core-building acrobaction at home. The 1UP Gravity Pro is...

Surge Adjustable Water Weight & Home Gym

$129.95 - $199.76 Amazon »

Surge Storm and Surge Riptide training equipment for your home gym are all about the instability of water. Part of the "active resistance training" camp, these sandbag-shaped, slosh-pipe-inspired rigid weights are filled...

The Load Trainer

I've seen human pack mules, but before the Load Trainer I'd never seen human weight racks. In this military-meets-Crossfit piece of fitness equipment, Innovative Performance mounts a weight plate post attachment to an...

Acme Sledgeworks Fitness Tools

$80 - $140 Acme Sledgeworks »

Work out, work out some stress, or work out that fireplace hearth you're about to replace with Acme Sledgeworks' line of intense industrial sledgehammers, dumbbells, and other fitness training tools...

The Booty LYFT Total Home Gym

Sold Out Amazon »

I cannot tell a lie. Although I am a dude, I would Booty LYFT my booty if I thought I could get a booty LYFTed like that lady's. Sexy butts are unisex, no?...

StepRight Stability Trainer Footwear

Discontinued

If you thought you didn't walk so good before, try strapping a pair of these StepRight Stability Trainers on your feet and see how much worse it can get!...

Python Power Twister Chest & Arm Builder

$39.95 Amazon »

Who cares if I'll ever use - uh, be able to us - the Python Power Twister, the most important thing is that I own a piece of fitness equipment called the Python Power Twister, and keep it on prominent display...

Doorway Fitness Tower

Sold Out Amazon »

Are you into DFT? That's Doorway Fitness Towering, not me being dyslexic with acronyms. The Doorway Fitness Tower, or DFT, is a next-level pull-up bar that brings over 70 exercises to the entrance to your bedroom, bathroom...

Sock Him Stan Doorway Punching Bag

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The Sock Him Stan doorway punching bag gives aspiring boxers, MMA competitors, and people who just like to hit stuff 3 things neither the Boxaball nor the Aqua Training Bag can: 1) the flexibility of installation in any...

SkyTechSport Ski & Snowboard Simulators

$23,900 SkyTechSport »

For serious Olympic ski and snowboard hopefuls, gym, or recreational hitters of the slopes with a ton of money, SkyTechSport has a Sick. Schtick. Their ski simulators provide a fully immersive VR experience that doesn't...

Boxing Speed Ball

Sold Out Amazon »

A Fight Ball Reflex boxing speed ball. Now that's a simple and swell way to vent your frustrations. Plus pick up a few more along the way if your fist repeatedly misses, or face repeatedly hits, this setup's tennis ball...