Equipment

Back Bubble Spinal Decompressor & Back Stretcher

$298 - $398 Amazon »

Hey, if it stretches my spine, restores traction, and relieves my lower back pain, I don't care what kind of poon the Back Bubble makes me look like while I'm using it. Adult male in a baby carrier. Fat dude stuck in...

AquaBLAST Underwater Punching Bag

Sold Out Amazon »

It seems to me the AquaBLAST Underwater Punching Bag is what boxing would be like in one of my nightmares where I can only move and do stuff in slow motion. In other words: Not. Cool...

Upaloop Fitness Stool

$98.97 Amazon »

Upaloop-a, doompa-de-doo / I've got a brand new workout for you. Upaloop-a, doompa-de-dee / A fitness stool that will shrink a belly...

Yoga Auxiliary Chair

$125.99 Amazon »

Yoga Auxiliary Chair? Yoga Auxiliary Chair? Psssh, yeah. Yoga Auxiliary Chair. This is a sex chair if I ever saw one. Even the lady "doing yoga" on it looks like she supports my position. (And looks like she could support...

Walkolution Manual Treadmill Desks

$5,566 - $10,668 Walkolution »

Walk. Work. Walk while working. Work while walking. Ugh. It's like a bunch of F-words in a row, but with Ws. And speaking of F-words, F Walkolution manual treadmill desks. It's bad enough I have to perform mental gymnastics...

OODA Ball Free Weight Punching Bag

$86 - $94 Kickstarter »

Oooo, da ball's flyin' back at my face. Better punch it again or it's gonna fall! The OODA Ball combines the weight of a medicine ball, with the tactile sensation of a boxing bag, with the bounceback-right-at-your-kisser...

The-O Exercise Bike

A 2021 Red Dot Design Award winner, The-O is a stationary exercise bike that doubles as "an appealing piece of furniture" when not in use. Its designers, Kim Dambi, Kim Kyung Jin, Park Sangjin, and Park Sung Soon, see...

Ryflx Reaction Time, Coordination & Agility Trainer

$118 - $213 Kickstarter »

WFH fatigue. Zoom fatigue. COVID-related brain fog. Fun stuff? Nope. But the Ryflx reaction time, coordination & agility trainer, an attempt at curing such maladies, might be...

PIVOT Bed - Convertible Bed & Home Gym

$3,114.10 - $4,475.16 PIVOT Fitness »

"Pivot" was one of 2020's most pervasive buzzwords. And while Colin and Patricia Montgomery began working on their convertible PIVOT Bed in 2019, and it's now obviously 2021, the transforming bed-to-home-gym still hits...

Bullbar Freestanding, Folding Pull-Up Bar

$329 Bullbar »

I suck at pull-ups. But at least with the Bullbar, I can save the strength I'd normally expend to assemble, set up, and fight with my wife about how I didn't really ruin the doorway installing a pull-up bar, and direct...

Kettlecross: The Kettlebell Hybrid

$56 - $319 Kickstarter »

Kettlecross, I appreciate your kettlebell hybrid design - the idea, the thought that's gone into it, the elimination of wrist and forearm stress during use. But I just can't pass up this opportunity to say: Yo, dudes!...

MonkeyFeet - Lift Dumbbells with Your Feet

Know what MonkeyFeet mean? No more sticking that dumbbell in your sweaty knee crease to do some donkey kicks and fire hydrants. The ability to do ham curls and weighted leg extensions without fancy gym machines. With...

HYPERBELL - Turn Your Dumbbells Into a Full Home Gym

$49 - $159 Jayflex Fitness »

HYPERBELL knows the home gym I've spent the last year-and-a-half building isn't going anywhere, regardless of when and whether I can go back to group fitness facilities. But, at least according to my wife, we need to...

Playpulse ONE Gaming Exercise Bike

$1,199 - $1,999 Playpulse »

If fitness instructors with boundless energy and endless inspirational sound bites, or filmed rides through the French countryside and Swiss Alps aren't enough to get you on a stationary bike, Playpulse is hoping immersive...

ChopFit Chopper Functional Trainer

$94.99 Amazon »

Will you get a load of the legs on ChopFit's Chopper demo dude? Holy functional training axe, Batman, forget ripped, chiseled, and cut! If using the Chopper means I have any hope of building a fortress of muscle like...

STRYK RXT-1 Robotic Striking Coach

$749 - $1,399 STRYK »

Your dreams of being bitch slapped by a robot? Meet RXT-1. He makes dreams come true. A forthcoming "robotic striking coach" from STRYK USA, the RXT-1 mounts to your wall and uses 4 removable padded arms to spar with...

Arm Wrestling Trainer

$17.95 - $17.99 Amazon »

Solo arm wrestling. Now there's a hobby I never knew I always needed. More importantly, an Arm Wrestling Trainer might be the perfect quarantine gift for a man...or woman...looking to beef up their hustling skills in...

Finger Weights for Musicians, Athletes & Gamers

$34.99 Amazon »

While these Finger Weights say they increase power, speed, control, reaction time, endurance, and finesse for musicians, athletes, and gamers, I think we can all agree those benefits come well after the very first things...

Cubii JR Seated Under Desk Elliptical Machine

$249 Amazon »

The Cubii JR, an under-desk elliptical machine you can use while seated, merges work from home with workout from home, and makes the whole WFH phenomenon:...

My Perfect Neck Strengthener for Neck Pain & Posture

$79 - $108 Kickstarter »

You, sweet thing, are my perfect...neck. From C1 to C7, trapezius to levator scapulae, I wouldn't change a single bone or muscle in your body part. And it's all thanks to the 1 minute a day I spend with this little contraption...

STEALTH Core Trainer - Core & Full Body Gaming Workout

$149 Amazon »

The STEALTH Core Trainer invites you to "Plank and play games!" Hmmm. Change that to "Plank or play games!" and I'm in. I choose play games...

SQUEGG Digital Dynamometer & Grip Strengthener

$48.97 Amazon »

Know what the SQUEGG reminds me of? Ummm, yeah, but besides a sex toy one might put up their butt? It reminds me of this phenomenon of physics I used to tell people about eggs, wherein if you place an egg longways in...

ExoHinge Resistance Exoskeleton

$75 - $150 ExoHinge »

"You lift, bro?" "Naw, dude, I ExoHinge." The ExoHinge resistance exoskeleton - a much cooler way of saying a wearable, hands-free piece of fitness equipment - is a minimalist solution for people who want to lift weights...

Liteboxer Boxing Fitness Machine

$1,495 Liteboxer »

Nobody show the Liteboxer to She-Ra: Princess of Power. She just barely crammed a Peloton into our dining room - it's the new head of the table - and I know if she sees this new rhythm-based boxing fitness machine our...