Monkey Lights

Posted: November 25, 2011
Monkey Lights

Don't just make sure they see you coming, make sure they have a seizure when they see you coming! Monkey Lights elicit ocular anarchy in 32 LED colors with programmable patterns, and maintain their function in all weather conditions. They make BMX tricks look even cooler when you land them, and detract from the blood and jutting tibia when you eat pavement. Bike commuters and recreational cyclists can also install them to ensure full nighttime visibility in traffic and on unlit side streets. Keep in mind, though, that full nighttime visibility is a double-edged sword, as while the Monkeys help preclude a collision with a drunk driver, they also render anyone cycle-weaving home from the bar to avoid a DUI an easy target for the po. Each light strand lasts up to 30 hours on 3 AA batteries, which should be plenty of time to make a few Benjamins blowing the minds of frat row schmos high on ketamine and horse tranquilizers. Monkeys fit the spokes of most bike wheels 20 inches or larger.

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