I Hate Everything
King, Emperor, Khal, Master and Commander, and Grand Poobah of haters, Matthew DiBenedetti, has immortalized his personality--defined by a comprehensive hatred of everything--in his grand oeuvre of ire, aptly titled I Hate Everything. Simple statements of dissatisfaction and animosity are paired with remedial black line drawings in what, for many of us, is essentially 400 pages of You read my mind. I mean, Scrooge, Archie Bunker, Mr. Roper, the Soup Nazi--all have secured their places in grouch history, but I Hate Everything takes being contrary to a new level with its malevolence, contradictions, hypocrisy and, well...balls-on accuracy.
I hate that I'm going bald. I hate that I still make fun of bald people. I hate karma.
I hate that my dog doesn't bark when someone is at the door. I hate the other dogs bark when I walk by their houses.
I hate meaningless Facebook posts. I hate that you think I care what you're doing right now. I hate that I don't have more Friends.
Or, my favorite:
I hate that I have to keep changing my password. I hate that I have to keep my password written down next to my computer.
Dude, I hate that too! Every 3 months I'm forced to change the GD thing for "security" but changing it so often means I have to keep it written down in plain, unsecure view or else I'll never flippin' remember what it is!
If you hate the game and the player, and especially the phrase, "Hate the game, not the player," I Hate Everything will be your ultimate commiserator, here to share in mutual hatred, remind you of hatred focal points you might have forgotten about, and maybe even introduce you to brand new things to hate.
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