Dude's Must See Products for June 2020
The longest day of the year came and went this month - thank the lord, Bob Ross, and Mr. Rogers, I say! - but that's nowhere near the most noteworthy thing that happened in June 2020. And Dude's must see products for summer's awakening did little to mirror the real-world tragedies, protests, and waves of change many of us experienced, either firsthand or vicariously through news and social media, in this June for the record books. But many of them did reflect something we're all craving, and that we all need every now and then: escape.
Enjoy Dude's must see products for June 2020.
Note: products are priced as they were at printing. Pricing, and availability, are subject to change.
Han Solo in Carbonite FridgeWrap
Sure you want to open that fridge? Really need another scoop of potato salad and swig of chocolate milk? Is it worth risking, oh, I don't know getting frozen in carbonite alongside your buddy Han Solo? Welp, if your hankering gets the best of you, better be sure you've got a Boushh-disguised Leia in the house to get you out of it.
Plastic Bottle Rope Makers - Turn Trash Into Rope
Grim Workshop has struck
gold plastic! The functional tool brand's new plastic rope bottle makers, the Cordage Card, Cordage Tag, and Cordage Micro Tool, look as fun to use as they do functional in use, and as burly as they do eco-friendly.
With the slogan backdrop, "Turn trash into rope," Grim Workshop ran its plastic bottle rope makers as a Kickstarter campaign this June, with options to pledge for the 3 designs individually or as a set. Each of the tools is able to turn a 2 liter bottle into a 50'+ length of rope. And we're not talking 50' of rope that snaps like your red licorice laces either. Check out the video of a wrapped cord of plastic bottle rope towing a 3,000 pound tractor. In the mud. Uphill. Both ways! (OK, Dad made up that last part.)
Friendship Test Pin Set
What're those pins of? Some sort of bulbous cacti or...oh.
They're hairy testicles. A pair of a pair of hairy testicles handmade to be worn by you and your bromance better half to prove the bond between you is stronger than steel. Stronger than balls of steel. Stronger than the humiliation of walking around wearing balls of steel.
Oh nuts, it's the ultimate Friendship Test. The ultimate gag gift too.
E49: What Is This Thing?
A few hints to help you out, but let me start by saying, no, it's not a face shield. ... Though someone could probably figure out a way to turn it into one: 1) It's kinda like a set of training wheels; 2) However, it provides only a trace of assistance; 3) Drawing a blank? You won't be soon.
11 of the Best Backyard Fire Pits
Well flamin' pits and great bowls of fire! Here are 11 of the best backyard fire pits, here to ignite your date nights, goo up your s'mores nights, and make your warm summer nights just a little warmer.
Cliff Prefabricated Modular House
Maker Q-haus says the Cliff modular house is a full-scale prefabricated architectural wonder, suitable for real humans and their guests. It has about 775 square feet of space divided into options with 2 or 3 bedrooms, 1 or 2 bathrooms (with optional sauna), and a central living space including an open kitchen and dining area. If you get one, you should also probably get...permission to install it, and a really good building inspector.
Q-haus is a "compact living" company out of Estonia, and as of printing it doesn't appear that they have sent any Cliff modular houses to the US, or possibly anywhere in the world, given all of the house's images are just 3D renderings.
QuenchSea: Turn Seawater into Freshwater
QuenchSea is a handheld seawater desalination gadget designed with sailors, campers, emergencies, and humanitarian relief in mind. Its design allows for a steady flow of seawater to pass through 3 stages of conversion, producing up to 3 liters of fresh, potable water in an hour. But there is a catch.
QuenchSea is powered manually. By you. Which is great when you're off the grid - in the middle of the ocean, or stranded on a desert island without power - but it does mean you're going to have to put in a lot of grunt work to turn salty straw into hydrating gold. A telescoping pole tucked into the side of the QuenchSea unit attaches to its base, and a footpad slides out for you to step on for stabilization. From there the effort looks straightforward, like pumping a well, but moving side-to-side instead of up-and-down. It's hard to tell how much resistance you're going to get from the water and filtration systems, but doing anything so repetitive nonstop for an hour is bound to add up.
Then again, as QuenchSea points out, "Of course, you have to pump for the entire period, but you will, if your life depends on it!"
While this planter may not seem very well endowed at 3" tall x 4" wide, remember those dimensions represent the terracotta pot (i.e., the balls) only. You're responsible for supplying the cactus, or other phallic plant, and can therefore choose how long, strong, and porn star to make your personal TERRACOCK'n'BALLS.
In addition to a hilarious gag or novelty gift, the TERRACOCK'n'BALLS Planter would also make an exceptional gift for Mom.
I mean, or not. Maybe plants and penises are your mom's faves.
Benjamin Convertible Library Ladder Chair
In case you didn't already know Benjamin Franklin was a genius, check out this convertible library ladder chair legend has it he designed. Genius! For example, imagine you're in your library reading War and Peace and suddenly you're like, Gee. I'd really rather be reading Playboy: The Complete Centerfolds right now, but that's all the way up on the top shelf hidden behind my business coaching books where my wife won't find it. Seems like a lot of trouble to go find the step ladder I'd need to...wait!
If you're sitting on a Benjamin Library Ladder Chair, then you're just a flip away from climbing on up that same Benjamin Library Ladder Chair, gaining instant access to the top shelf naked ladies, or anything else you need to reach up high.
Bigfoot Hoodies & Shirts
No Bigfoot were harmed...or spotted...in the making of this line of all-over printed Bigfoot hoodies and shirts. The 3D appearance of the hairy, nippley fashion is also an optical illusion - Aloha Zing says the sustainable polyester they use to print them feels like cotton, and is smooth, lightweight, and breathable, so you won't feel hot(ter than normal) wearing a Bigfoot T-shirt in 95-degree weather. But you may make others, as my grandma used to say, "hot just lookin' at you."
Russian-Bear Hot Tent with Stove Jack
Go from BRRRR to GRRRR. It's called Russian-Bear because that's who makes this cold-weather-ready hot tent with stove jack, but I think also because as soon as you get your wood stove a-glowin' inside, I'll bet many a Russian bear will endeavor to join you. Especially if dutch oven honey cakes are on the menu for dinner.
The 12 Best Products for Socially Distanced Summer Fun
My efforts to bring you the 12 best products for socially distanced summer fun have produced activities for the indoors and out. Some are solo endeavors. Some are pastimes for the whole family, or you and the randos you share your home with. Some are ideas for kiddie entertainment that send the wee ones off on their own, so you can have a moment of peace to read your book. Or spend time with your other wee one.
You know, your penis.
CRKT Techliner Everyday Carry Pen
In writing about their Techliner everyday carry pen, CRKT notes, "Your job's too important for a drugstore pen." I'd also add, "And blech. Who wants to touch a drugstore pen anymore anyway?"
Along with an ergonomically machined 6061 aircraft-grade aluminum body the Techliner has magnetic ends, justifying its spot in your EDC with a lightweight, comfortable hold, and the ability to stick without slipping to clipboards, desk legs, car hoods, and, I don't know, would the Techliner pen stick directly to your hip or knee of you've had a replacement? Hold please....
Nope. It would not. According to someone medical, "Although orthopaedic and dental implants are metal, they are not magnetic."
E51: What Is This Thing?
Hints: 1) Even once you know what it is, you still might say, "What is this thing?"; 2) Seems like it will provide instant, comforting gratification, but in the long run could give you cancer; 3) Vrrroooommmm! Bon appetit!
Build a Backyard Retreat: 18 Scrimps & Splurges
For ye who seek to build a backyard retreat who have already scrimped and saved, here are some ideas to help you splurge on your endeavor. Hot tubs, hammocks, detached office pods, and huge cauldrons o' fire.
And for those still in scrimping mode, paired with every splurge is a more economical option that will still help convert your backyard into a retreat worthy of escaping to all summer long. Hell, why not hunker down and just ride out the rest of 2020? Scrimps range from trash can grills to flyin' saucer hammocks, and solar powered patio umbrellas to fryin' saucer outdoor cookers.
There are 18 scrimps and splurges in all, and all ready to help you build the ultimate backyard retreat.
Piscinas de Arena Backyard Sand Pools
Not sure I'll make it to the beach this summer, but...the odds of getting there are a helluva lot higher than the odds of getting one of Piscinas de Arena's luxury backyard sand pools, in-ground swimming pools made with real compacted sand. Maybe my mama will spring for one at her place.
Piscinas de Arena custom designs their sand pools according to each client's preferences and outdoor space configuration. Their fluid shapes and sloped, graduated entries mimic a beach leading into the ocean, and are possible thanks to a malleable gunite concrete poured base. Gunite adapts to any shape or dimension, enabling the additional benefit of pool installation that follows and incorporates your property's natural shapes and changes in elevation.
Roadhaus Wedge RV
It's not the Double Deuce, but this RoadHaus is still one I bet Patrick Swayze would gladly sign on to bounce hooligans out of. And by hooligans I mean skunks, mosquitos, and maybe the occasional black bear. And by Patrick Swayze, I mean the ghost of Patrick Swayze, may he rest in peace with eternal access to a potter's wheel.
The RoadHaus Wedge RV is a mobile version of a luxury tiny home. At just 250 square feet it packs in a living room large enough to cush out with a couch, TV, and fireplace, a full kitchen, a sick bathroom that looks 10 times nicer than the one I have in my not-tiny house, and a bedroom / office area that can accommodate a queen bed. Gee, I wish I had an office that could accommodate a queen bed.
Wish I had a job that required a queen bed.
Zeltini Z-Triton House-boat-trike
The Zeltini Z-Triton: coming soon to a road! A lake! A teeny-tiny plat of land near you!
Zeltini, a husband-and-wife (and family dog) design & prototyping workshop out of Latvia, calls the amphibious Z-Triton a "house-boat-trike," built so that neither land nor water will stop you on your journey to earn the Adult Achievement Sticker of Sportiest Dude in the Cul de Sac.