Beer Gear: 16 Ways to Enhance a Cold Beer on a Hot Day
16 ways to enhance a cold beer on a hot day. That's 4 more than a 12-pack of ways. A 6-pack plus 10. A pint of beer gear! And if this summer is the scorcher they say it's going to be, I for one will gladly make use of every single one of them.
Note: All 16 beer gifts are priced as they were at printing on May 25, 2023. Pricing, and availability, are subject to change.
Rabbit Freezable Beer (and Whiskey) Glasses
Dilution, be gone! Whether you're a beer or a whiskey lover - or need a gift for Dad who downs his fair share of both - Rabbit's Freezable Beer & Whiskey Glasses will chill your libation of choice to the perfect mouthfeel with the addition of ice. Or refrigeration, given I've never actually seen anyone put ice in a beer to chill it.
I feel like that's something my mother-in-law would do, though. To water it down. She won't drink any beer over 5% ABV.
But she'll drink Tennessee whiskey straight from the bottle. ... Haha, not. That's my mama.
The Beast - Fist Can Koozie
Sure, I'm on the receiving end of a knuckle sandwich...again...but at least at the fist of The Beast I can wash it down with an ice cold Bud Light Lime. What? BLL is why I keep getting sucker punched in the first place? Dude, are you kidding me? It's so good. A beer of epic artificially-citrus-flavored proportions. A giant in the world of refreshing alcoholic beverages, deserving of this gargantuan foam cooling koozie. Plus, anything darker gives me heartburn.
The Beast makes for a useful and apropos accessory at Comic Con after parties, angry protests, and Pfister Sisters concerts. Wielding the man-sized koozie may require several beers' worth of practice and finesse, so be sure to unleash it only when you are prepared take on a 12-pack.
Kong Beer Bong
Under the motto, "Make the good times better," the Kong Bong is a combo can koozie and beer bong that transitions between the two in seconds. The insulating koozie holds beer cans, keeps 'em cold, and facilitates condensation-free polite sipping from the tab when business on the top is appropriate.
But when it's time to party on the bottom, the Kong Bong koozie's hard plastic construction lets it convert to a vessel that can also hold liquid on its own. A corrugated hose screws into the bottom of the koozie to serve as your chugging conduit and, once you've got the open end plugged with your thumb, pour up to 16 ounces of beer straight into the Kong Bong koozie. Then, prepare your pharynx.
The Two Fisted Drinker
Two Fisted Drinker makers describe their creation as, "Two beer mugs fused together by technology that is beyond our time." I couldn't agree more. As if two beers, in one hand weren't enough, this dynamic duo of steins also drinks like a single. Pour your brew into one of the mugs, and a built-in center conduit (in layman's terms: hole) will funnel the liquid back and forth between the two containers to keep their levels even as you stand, and spill-proof as you drink. Check out the video here.
Addition Beer Sauce - Savory Bitters for Beer
Uh-oh, did you drink your last microbrew or large format Belgian import? Now all that's left in the fridge is Rolling Rock and Michelob Ultra? It's cool, dude. When life makes you beer bitter, grab some beer bitters.
Addition Beer Sauce is a bitters-style mixer made specifically for beer, to bring complexity, flavor, and some heat to your lackluster lagers and ales, and to "turn a normal beer into something special!"
Pure Titanium Beer Mug
Ivory soap might be 99 44/100% pure, but this titanium beer mug ekes out the win at 99.5%. Not that soap and titanium really merit comparison, but since they're calling this double insulated drinkware a beer mug, and beer and soap both lead to sudsing up, preferably in a Splinter Works Hammock Bathtub with a pint of pilsner, my line of thinking, as always, is still spot on.
Beer Foaming Stones
Beer Foaming Stones: They Give Good Head.
These Beer Foaming Stones, which enjoy science as much as sexual innuendo, are also known as soapstone nucleators. Place them in a glass and pour in a can or bottle of beer, and they'll get to work riling up the brew's carbonation, and sending a "thick, lacy" layer of foam to the top that will last until you finish your drink. The process also helps enhance beer flavor and aroma, and reduce acidity.
Draft Top Beer Can Opener
Cups. I thumb my nose at thee. No, make that my Draft Top. I thumb my Draft Top at thee.
The Draft Top is a beer can opener that removes the entire top of aluminum beverage cans (sodie cans too). Because maybe you'd rather sip your brew than slurp it through that tiny tab hole. Maybe you want a Jack & Coke, and you have the Jack and you have the Coke, but no cup to mix them in. Or maybe your environmentally conscious self doesn't want to waste a cup. Or maybe your lazy self doesn't want to venture away from the couch and Sobro Cooler Coffee Table to get one.
So many complex reasons to use a Draft Top!
And complexity itself is Draft Top's own favorite reason to pop the whole top off your cans with their bar tool. The company says opening up more of the can also opens up more flavor so you can "experience the full aroma of your drink" without transferring it to a glass.
Keg-a-Droid Remote Control Beer Robot
This is definitely the droid I'm looking for. The Keg-a-Droid from SuperDroid Robots is a remote control beer bitch built to haul a sixth barrel keg right up to the empty pint glasses of all the thirsty boys and girls at the party.
Or, like, me alone at my computer playing Fortnite.
Beer Caramelizer Campfire Tool
"Throw another lager on the fire," says the Beer Caramelizer. Yuk, yuk, yuk, a flavor-enhancing campfire tool after my own heart.
While on the surface heating a poker in the 1571-degrees-Fahrenheit center of a campfire, and then sticking it in your beer sounds more like an amateur drunk move than a deliberate action taken by connoisseurs of the drink. But according to the brew bros who make the Beer Caramelizer, this is actually a centuries old practice they're just bringing back to the bonfire.
CreekKooler - Outdoor Floating Cooler
No need to weigh down or cramp up your kayak or paddleboard with a cooler when you can raft a CreekKooler to the back and paddle on with up to 30, 12-ounce cans and 20 pounds of ice in tow.
Kancooler's CreekKoolers have streamlined, kayak-like hulls that make it easy to pull behind small watercraft without disrupting your flow. You can also drag them along land, through sand or other dry ground, thanks to a trio of skids on the bottoms. When you're not on the move, the CreekKooler will just bob around next to you, eager to hand out cold beverages from between its dual-wall construction and 2" of insulation. The cooler has an ice retention period of 48 hours, and a 1/8-turn, watertight locking lid seals its contents tight inside.
CreekKoolers come in 5 different colors, all with 4 drink holders on the surface deck.
CigarzUp Beer Bottle Cigar Holder
A beer in one hand, a cigar in...the same hand. CigarzUp, yep, keeps your cigar up, and at the ready, when you're enjoying a smoke alongside a bottled cold one.
CigarzUp is a (admittedly kinda cheap-looking) plastic attachment that clasps onto a beer, water, or soda bottle, and offers up a rounded ledge to cradle your cigar. Both so it won't roll off the table, and so you can smoke and drink at the same time. Just keep your index finger over the cigar to keep it in place while you take a swig, and then grab a puff on your arm's way back down.
Trinken Lid Covert Beer Koozie
Enjoy some tricky drinkin' with the Trinken lid of subterfuge. Disguised as a to-go coffee lid, the Trinken fits over a can of beer, which then slides into most any large paper coffee cup to form a covert koozie. Sneaky, sneaky for festivals, airplanes, walking down the street, and sitting at your desk at work.
On top of their stealthy physique, Trinken Lids also have an ergonomic spout and secondary airflow aperture that make drinking from a can of beer feel more like drinking from a glass. In addition, when snapped over a can's rim, the lid forms a watertight seal and an air barrier that help keep the beer cold. Longer, according to Trinken Lids, even than a foam koozie.
Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller
The Corkcicle for girly white and pink wine now has a version for manly yellow and brown beer. After 45 minutes in the freezer, Chillsners insert into and latch onto bottles of brew to maintain optimal ice coldness from swig one to swig final (in my case, swig 3. Just one more thing the Tootsie Roll Pop owl and I have in common.)
Beer Puppeteer - Human Puppet Drinking Game
The Beer Puppeteer is a wearable Dutch drinking game, consisting of backpack straps affixed to a flat wood board, a hinged pair of 2-by-4s, and a second, smaller wood board with a cup holder cutout dangling from the 2-bys, along with a set of puppet strings. Don't worry, the donning and setup of the Beer Puppeteer are much less complicated than all that sounds. It's the playing of the drinking game that's going to challenge your skills, string you along, and have you drunk as a
skunk human puppet before before you're done.
The Krak'in 2.0 - Shotgun Beer the Better Way
Crack open a cold one, unleash the Kraken, and get the party started. Or, if you're lookin' to really tie one on, don't crack open the cold one, unleash the Krak'in, and turn the party into a rager. The Krak'in 2.0 is a beer shotgunning tool you can take anywhere, and pierce into any size can to make yourself an impromptu personal beer bong whenever the mood strikes.