The Shit Box
For some, the rush of peace and relaxation associated with smoking marijuana are unparalleled. So when innovative people who are desperate to toke out find themselves without a prefabricated bong or pipe, they improvise using common household items, such as butter knives, 2-liter plastic soda bottles, and watermelons.
Guess what else innovative people desperate to achieve a rush of peace and relaxation in the absence of a proper apparatus have enabled using common household items?
The Shit Box, a 14-inch cardboard pop-up toilet, replete with specially crafted plastic poo bags, ensures no setting or outing will ever again thwart hankerings to partake in your favorite bodily functions. Take it camping, fishing, to festivals, to the homes of friends who let their cats walk all over the kitchen counters, and therefore probably do not care about keeping their bathrooms sanitary either, anywhere! The Shit Box is also an ideal alternative to disturbing your neighbors when you need to do a number two whilst at the theater or on an airplane. Just unfold the cardboard, insert and affix one of the plastic poo bags, sit (gingerly--squashing the box could mar the experience), and let all the unwanted shit in your life go. It even comes with tissues for easy cleanup, and a duffel bag for further portability.
So the next time you're camping, go ahead, throw another can of baked beans in the Dutch oven. Dominate the s'mores eating contest. Take a chance on that juicy, yet unidentifiable, red berry. And know, no matter what colon-clogging creek you find yourself up, the Shit Box will serve, faithfully and biodegradably, as your paddle.