Office

Liquid Encased Office Chair Mat

Sold Out Amazon »

Oooh, splotchy blue liquid encased in an office chair mat. Looks funky, and pretty much sums up how I feel when I'm at the office. Well, at least the blue part...

Kaweco Special Brass Mechanical Pencil

$59.12 Amazon »

The Kaweco Special Brass Mechanical Pencil might not have the words written along its barrel, but all it takes is one look at this 8-faced shimmering brass beauty and German import to know: it's mother fucking pencil...

Levit8 Flat-Folding Portable Standing Desk

$23.95 - $34.95 Amazon »

The Levit8 is a portable standing desk that carries flat like folder, and then goes all geometric screensaver dance to twist out into an elevated work surface when you want to stand on two feet rather than sit on 2 cheeks...

Make Your Co-Workers Hate You Pen

$5.99 Perpetual Kid »

Never has there been a more aptly named product than this Make Your Co-Workers Hate You Pen. See, it's a pen, normal in every way, except for the clip at the end, which is a pair of mother F'ing nail clippers!...

Under Desk Hammock

The Under Desk Hammock from Uplift Desk certainly solves the problems of how and where to take a nap at work. As for the why - you'll have to justify that one yourself...

Computer Rear-View Mirror

$14.99 Amazon »

Spied on, sneaked up upon, and pranked no more! This rear-view mirror for your computer or cubicle clips on to a monitor to provide a bird's eye view of all the shenanigans going on behind your back. Because you can't...

Worst Co-Worker Ribbon Set

$20 Etsy »

The sarcasm of Adult Achievement Stickers combine with my personal favorite BS award medium, ribbons, and head to the office with this Worst Co-Worker Ribbon Set from Etsy shop Boldfaced. As much fun as it might be to...

Revolution Focus Standing Desk Balance Board

$149.95 - $179.95 Amazon »

Is the standing desk fad still standing strong? If not, the Revolution Focus standing desk balance board is sure doing a stand-up job of making it interesting to me again. Not only does the possibility of falling on my...

Human Bones Ballpoint Pen Set

$8.19 Amazon »

Running low on balljoint pens? Need a set of human bones to make you fe-mur like filling out the forms at your orthopedist's office? Contemplating writing a poem to use in revealing yourself to your crush, but need a...

Fallen AT-AT Tape Dispenser

$49.95 Amazon »

Want to stick it to the Empire? Take down their AT-ATs with this secret weapon: a roll of tape. As my mama always told me when she was patching my coats and jeans and open wounds, never underestimate the power of a good...

Office Ottoman Under Desk Ergonomic Foam Footrest

Sold Out Amazon »

Not just for shawties! That the Office Ottoman foam footrest slides underneath your desk to elevate your feet is certainly helpful for shorter and shorter-legged workers, but the curved ergonomic support can provide relief...

Ring Pen - Ergonomic Ball Point Pen

$15.99 Amazon »

The Ring Pen is set to launch a writing-by-hand comeback tour! According to its makers, "This is a unique ergonomic design to make writing task fun again." Maybe with a Ring Pen slipped over their pointer fingers, kids...

Miniature Tabletop Desktop Warfare Kit

$23.83 Amazon »

This Ballista Kit, based on the artillery weapon design used by the Roman Empire, will enjoy a loooong career in desktop warfare at my office. But I'm also thinking of rolling the little wooden crossbow onto the tabletop...

Office Nap Pillow

Discontinued

Falling asleep at your desk? The Office Nap Pillow for the work force's finest (plus sleepy students with 8 a.m. lectures) facilitates a quick 3:00 snooze without the resultant neck and shoulder tension, or headaches...

PenPOW Pencil Slingshot

$9.99 Amazon »

Peleg Design calls their PenPOW pencil-mounted slingshot "your secret weapon against boredom." And since we all know boredom runs rampant in classrooms and cubicles, we should probably take this opportunity to protect...

Wurf Board Standing Desk Air-Spring Anti-Fatigue Mat

$100.38 - $140.60 Amazon »

The Wurf Board lets you ride the waves...of unending emails...and hang ten...Excel spreadsheets of Q3 product reports...right from your desk, all day long. The anti-fatigue mat for standing desks doesn't just copy the...

The Complaint Department Grenade Sign

$9.99 Amazon »

When I saw this "Complaint Department" sign with a "Please take a number" directive pointing right at the pin of a grenade, I first assumed it was meant for the office. I know my boss would sure like to have one...

mPosition Mobile Workstation

Discontinued

Would making spreadsheets, dialing in to meetings, and replying to 979 emails per day be less excruciating if you could do it from a desk chair that could double as the pilot's seat on Musk's first spaceship to Mars?...

Justick Electro Adhesion Boards

$34.99 - $399.99 Amazon »

Justick! I say it all the time to weak magnets and unruly Post-Its Justick, dammit! And now, lo and behold, I can have a Justick Electro Adhesion Board. A white (or black) board sized from desktop to boardroom to tri-fold...

9mm Bullet Casing Push Pins

Discontinued

They pulled the trigger so you can push the pin. This set of 8 Bullet Casing Push Pins come to you and your cork board from real, once-fired, American-made 9mm bullets. Seller Lucky Shot promises the conversion of the...

Vespa Scooter Chairs

What Piaggio did for the world of scooters, Bel & Bel does for the world of desk chairs...made out of scooters. Not to marginalize their coolness. The newest edition of Bel & Bel's Scooter Chairs swivel from unassuming...

Wheelmate Steering Wheel Work Surface

$32.31 Amazon »

What is this an April Fool's Groundhog Day joke? Why do I need an ergonomic work surface while I'm driving? It's hard enough to shave, text, and eat panang curry from Pretty Thai for a White Guy when I'm behind the wheel...

Altwork Sit-Down-Stand-Up-Lie-Down Workstation

$3,900 - $4,900 Altwork »

Did you ever think you'd long to sit in a dentist's chair? Me either. And really the Altwork only loosely resembles the bearer of root canals in its reclined position, which is just one of several the new workstation...

Uncaged Ergonomics Wobble Stool

$129.99 Amazon »

You know with a name like Wobble Stool they're gonna say it does everything but fall over. Uncaged Ergonomics has created this "healthier sitting environment" to encourage caloric output even while resting square on one's...