Freshly Baked Muscular Bear Bread
- Muscle Abs Teddy Bear - $27.98
- XL Muscled Shiba Inu Stuffed Animal - $26.99
- Realistic 3D Baguette Plush & Lumbar Support Pillow - $22.79
- Tiny Headed Polar Bear Plush Toy - $39.99
- Stuffed Cat with Big Testicles - $27.99
I don't know which sounds worse: eating a bear; or eating a bear that's so jacked with muscles its flesh cooks all tough and rubbery. What's that? Try it raw? ... Uh, no. Cat sushi, maybe, but I draw the line at bear sushi. Anyway, it says this muscular bear is freshly baked, so I don't think I have to worry about digging in all wild animal / Danaerys Targaryen style.
Oh, and also, it's freshly baked muscular bear bread, not freshly baked muscular bear from the forest CrossFit. So, not real bear at all, but more like bear baguette or bear sandwich roll. Both of which sound delicious, even with the bulging pecs and washboard abs.
There's still a downside, though, because this Freshly Baked Muscular Bear Bread is an optical illusion. It's made not out of flour, yeast, and water, but Japanese polymer clay, with a UV resin coating to give it that egg wash shine. Sigh. Guess bear cuisine, in any shape or form, won't be on the menu for me today. But I'm not too mad it about, especially given how cute 'n' quirky Linal Crafts' Freshly Baked Muscular Bear Bread is despite being neither real bear nor real bread. The lil' guys even come with your choice of a magnet or a pin backing, so you can share the cuteness and quirk with others, displaying one on your fridge, and wearing another as a brooch.