Posted: June 02, 2013
$39 - $127
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Broquets are cornucopias of real man stuff sent to real men...plus women who don't want no stinkin' roses, and would rather have a vat of hot sauce that puts hair on their chest than a box of chocolates that puts pounds on their ass. Over a dozen themed Broquet compilations arrive wrapped in functional packaging ranging from cigar boxes and gear bags to fish nets reclaimed from the coast of Louisiana. Sample Broquet grab bags include:

The Woodsman, Chopping Tools.

  • Gerber Gator Combo Axe, a 16" hatchet with forged steel blade, plus a 10" saw enclosed in the handle.
  • Wells Lamont pigskin and denim gloves.
  • Kodiak log carrier.
  • 50 feet of 1/4" nylon rope.
  • $78

The All-Nighter, Hangover First-Aid Kit.

  • DrinkWel (4 packs), the multi-vitamin for drinkers.
  • Mercy. A solution that restores the body's glutathione, an amino acid that helps men to look women in the eye instead of the chest.
  • Pedialyte powder pack. Broquet bros say, "Strong enough for a baby, made for a man."
  • E-Boost (2 pack) to start the morning-after festivities.
  • Blowfish (2 pack), a fizzing morning-after tablet.
  • Instant Cold Pack. Crack open, apply to area most visibly throbbing.
  • Scope. On the off-chance you're sharing a bed with someone who doesn't want to roll over to Maker's-Manhattan-with-a-side-of-Beefy-Crunch-Burrito breath.
  • Niche for Men (2 pack) body wipes. In case you wake up in a dumpster and, you know, smell like a dumpster.
  • Bloody Mary mix. Let the fun begin again!
  • $39.

The Kentucky Straight, a Bourbon Confectionery.

  • Wondermade Bourbon Marshmallows. Laden with real liquor. Just like the chick I saw pass out on the hood of a Subaru in a failed attempt to cross the street last night.
  • Raaka Cask-aged Bourbon Chocolate. OK, so much for Broquet's putting the kibosh on chocolate.
  • Dude, Sweet Bourbon Chocolate Sauce, made with Breckenridge Distillery bourbon. Add to cocktails, ice cream, or chug straight from the bottle. OK, so much for putting the kibosh on added ass poundage.
  • Fat Toad Salted Bourbon Caramel Sauce, infused with Kentucky straight bourbon.
  • Olive & Sinclair Bourbon Nib Brittle.
  • $56.
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