In-Home USB Polygraph

Posted: November 18, 2012
In-Home USB Polygraph
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Find out whose pants are on fire from the comfort of your own living room and USB port. The USB Polygraph for in-home use (read: barrels upon barrels of monkeys, particularly when anyone expected of cheating or doing other nefarious activities behind closed doors gets just drunk enough to be convinced that they're being hooked up for a simple blood pressure screening) claims 80% to 99% accuracy, and suggests users dig in to spice up their parties and games of Truth or Dare.

The USB Polygraph requires no training and little skill to operate, which is the perfect combination for pretty much all of us who are likely to operate it. After plugging one end into a PC's USB port, just strap the sensors to your test subject, and hit run on the software. Then enter questions, get answers, and let the wonders of our digital age cause massive blowouts, terminate friendships, and maybe, finally grant your wish to have Jesse's girl.

Lie detection kits include:

  • A real polygraph machine
  • A pulse finger clip
  • Skin galvanization finger wraps
  • A breathing apparatus (huh? Like a paper bag?)
  • A USB cable
  • An electronics box
  • A CD-ROM with polygraph software

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