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Electronic Social Distancing Wristband

Posted: August 31, 2021
Electronic Social Distancing Wristband
  • Electronic Social Distancing Wristband
  • Electronic Social Distancing Wristband
  • Electronic Social Distancing Wristband
$32.99
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The Electronic Social Distancing Wristband is like a metal detector for humans. Specifically, humans who are getting too damn close to you. Beep, beep, beep [6-foot threshold crossed] beebeebeebeebeebeep!

Nah, the Electronic Social Distancing Wristband is more polite than that. It just vibrates and lights up when you come within 6 feet of someone, letting you know to move back, or move along...or move to grab your Social Distancing Zapper.

And, of course, for the Electronic Social Distancing Wristband to work, everyone you're trying to keep COVID-safe from has to be wearing one, so it's limited in its usefulness unless you're prepared to buy a big box of them. But the wristbands could be handy for office and warehouse workers, maybe school kids, definitely me and my in-laws this Thanksgiving. No, you know, I am so concerned for their health that I think it might be better to just have a drive-through Thanksgiving this year. Wherein my MIL cooks all of her amazing food, but just hands it to us through the car window in to-go bags, and my wife and I take it home to eat in peace.

Uh, I mean, in precaution. Proper COVID safety precaution.

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