Freeze Dried Meat
/freeze-dried-meat-7584.jpg "Freeze Dried Meat")
Japanese earwax magnifiers, freeze dried meat, Today's Special is: weirdness. Now someone take that mannequin's hat off so he'll stop yammering about sharing and being nice to people. Honeyville Rancher's Cut carnivorous delicacies in a can are all made from 100% of their specified animal. Meats undergo dicing (beef chunks, turkey, chicken, ham) or crumbling (hamburger, sausage), cooking, and then the hyper-cold vacuuming of all their liquids prior to can transmission, at which point they are good to go for emergencies, camping trips, and the best rehydrated sloppy joe you've ever had.
Honeyville claims that its unopened cans of freeze dried meat maintain a shelf life of 15 years. Hmmm. The thought of eating a plate of chicken that has been around longer than any actual chicken could ever live seems a little risky. Good thing I have a cast iron stomach and laugh in the face of food poisoning. Freeze dried meat literature also notes that all products have been inspected by the USDA for wholesomeness. That makes me feel 0% better about their wholesomeness.
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
/beef-jerky-flowers-25528.jpg "Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets")
Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets
Men, say it with diamonds. With chocolate truffles. With roses. Ladies, say it with beef. Jerky. In the shape of flowers for good measure. Because even though nothing will tell your man's belly how you feel more than...
/pringles-flavored-instant-35228.jpg?mode=crop "Pringles-Flavored Instant Ramen Noodles")
Pringles-Flavored Instant Ramen Noodles
Pringles-flavored instant ramen noodles are coming! And! And! Ramen-flavored Pringles potato chips are coming! In honor of Pringles' 50th anniversary and Super Cup's 30th anniversary, the brands have teamed up on a mashup...
The Groundfridge
Bomb shelter? Underground fort? Not really. But Dutch designer Floris Schoonderbeek's Groundfridge is big enough for me to pop a squat inside and go all Jabba the Hutt chowing down on the 1,100 pounds food and drink she...
Foodini 3D Food Printer
I am 0% surprised that someone made a 3D food printer. If we can print jewelry and home decor and machine parts and sugar, why shouldn't we be able to print dinner? Barcelona-based company Natural Machines has created...
/penis-charcuterie-board-61165.jpg?mode=crop "Penis Charcuterie Board")
Penis Charcuterie Board
No one will be able to beat your meat, or resist your cheese, or help but grab your berries, when you arrange them atop the Penis Charcuterie Board. It's the best reference to genitalia I've seen in a serving tray since...
/things-that-make-you-go-mmm-52103.jpg?mode=crop "Things That Make You Go Mmm: 19 Food Gifts for 2021")
Things That Make You Go Mmm: 19 Food Gifts for 2021
My 19-course collection of food gifts for 2021 isn't just a meal of highfalutin foods for foodies, it's a meal of things that make you go Mmm even if you're just a normal human being who likes to consume food. Or cook...
/imperial-spherificator-turn-18498.jpg "Imperial Spherificator - Turn Any Food Into Caviar")
Imperial Spherificator - Turn Any Food Into Caviar
The Imperial Spherificator. Sounds like something you'd find alongside Mega Maid in Lord Dark Helmet's cache of planet-destroying weapons. But in fact, this superbly named device isn't meant for destruction or Mel Brooks...
/the-best-bbq-gadgets-32478.jpg?mode=crop "The Best BBQ Gadgets")
The Best BBQ Gadgets
I rounded up some of the best BBQ gadgets out there and took them to my grill. And I said, "Hey grill, how you doin'? BBQ season is so close I can taste the smoked brisket and wet-rubbed pork - you ready to start cookin'...
/18-champion-gifts-for-people-52735.jpg?mode=crop "18 Champion Gifts for People Who Love Breakfast")
18 Champion Gifts for People Who Love Breakfast
If you know someone who champions breakfast (i.e., the most important meal of the day.) If you know someone who's a champion breakfast eater (i.e., won the Baconfest World Bacon Eating Championship.) If you know someone...
/mythical-meats-humanoid-snack-60351.jpg?mode=crop "Mythical Meats Humanoid Snack Sticks")
Mythical Meats Humanoid Snack Sticks
Ever want to sink your teeth into some mermaid tail? Well, have at it, dudes. Just don't go looking for flavors of Ariel or Daryl Hannah in your box of Mythical Meats Humanoid Snack Sticks - no mythical creatures were...
Cuts of Meat Dress
I love beef, and I love girls, but somehow the combination of the two doesn't work so well for me. The cuts of meat diagram on this dress carries implications of objectifying women and also cannibalism, and that is so...
/natural-harvest-a-collection-42759.jpg?mode=crop "Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes")
Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes
Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes by Paul "Fotie" Photenhauer serves as a reminder to be careful what you wish for. For example, if a dude asks what you want for dessert, consider a plate of Creamy...