3D Printed Sugar
- MakerBot Replicator 2 Desktop 3D Printer - $2,199.00
- FlashForge 3D Printer - $1,199.00
- Edible Peacock Feathers - $7.95
- Edible Gold Leaf Flakes - $46.50
- Fabricated: The New World of 3D Printing - $20.91
Wedding cakes have been topped with zombies. Video game junkies. Your own face. But have you ever seen one topped with an infinite web of sugar spun in 3 out of 3 dimensions? The Sugar Lab will custom make 3D printed sugar in nearly any form for nearly any occasion* at the buyer's request. Maybe you haven't been cursed with a wedding date. Maybe you're just turning 30. Maybe you're turning 30 and it's you and your girlfriend's 2-year anniversary. And maybe she's been pressuring you to curse yourself with a wedding date so much that you just want to buy a 3D sugar box, shove a damn ring inside of it and shut her up already. Again, 3D printed sugar pieces add originality and class to any big day, whether it involves ritualistic cake consumption or not.
Sugar Lab honchos earn their 3D printing credibility with backgrounds in architecture and an abiding love for complex geometry. Hey, that sounds like me too! For example, one time I stacked 17 days' worth of dishes into a perfectly stable and only slighting leaning tower in the sink, and also I totally dig spherical breasts that are so perfect it becomes Cornelius' and my night's challenge to figure out whether they are real or not. The Sugar Lab has been able to parlay their skills and passions into a profitable micro-design firm specializing in reinventing granules of sugar as dimensional, structural mediums. I went to college for 3 days before realizing I don't need a degree to live in my mom's house and dick around on the Internet all day, and I get slapped in the face by an attractive woman approximately once a week. See, me and The Sugar Lab: like Schwarzenegger and DeVito.
Parties interested in collaborating on a 3D printed sugar creation for their wedding cake or other celebratory cake, or to pair with some 23K gold chocolate bacon at their next I Shit $100 Bills dinner party, contact The Sugar Lab with design and pricing inquiries.
Muchas danke to Crnchy.
*Well, really any occasion, provided you don't tell them, say, you want a big saccharine Care Bear for the Plushophilia Society's annual gala. In that case I bet they'd refuse the otherwise acceptable challenge on the grounds of TMI and ew, gross, dude.