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Just the Tipsy Sparkling Wine

Posted: January 24, 2023
Just the Tipsy Sparkling Wine
$37 - $42.99
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I'm dude enough to admit it: I learned about Just the Tipsy Bubbly Rose, a sparkling wine served in a bottle shaped like penis, through Chrissy Teigan's Twitter feed about 5 minutes before writing this. Another thing I'm dude enough to admit: I follow Chrissy Teigan on Twitter.

Primed for ladies' nights, bachelorette parties, and horny women who can't find the key to their sex toy box, Just the Tipsy Bubbly Rose comes (say it with me, HARD!) in dry and semi-sweet finishes, both corked and ready to explode with pure pleasure. Or at least a high enough ABV to leave you feeling more chill and satisfied than you were before.

Just the Tipsy describes itself as "just a funny way to spice up your wine experience," and swears it's not aiming "to be crude, vulgar, or offensive." Words that surprised me in their sort of defensiveness and supplication, until I read further and discovered Just the Tipsy Bubbly Rose wasn't created by some cheeky, irreverent ladies, but two dudes. And not just two dudes, two dads. Two dads having a chuckle about how many bachelorette parties their wives had attended, and all the dick decor and party favors that seemed to populate them.

So, yeah, Just the Tipsy Bubbly Rose isn't just a girly wine begging to be drunk straight from its dick-shaped bottle while some snaps pics for Instagram. It's also the ultimate Dad joke.

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