Fitness

Liteboxer Boxing Fitness Machine

$1,495 Liteboxer »

Nobody show the Liteboxer to She-Ra: Princess of Power. She just barely crammed a Peloton into our dining room - it's the new head of the table - and I know if she sees this new rhythm-based boxing fitness machine our...

IronMind Twist Yo' Wrist

$46.95 Amazon »

IronMind says its Twist Yo' Wrist will help you treat yo'self with "a new spin on lower arm training." Regular sessions with the fitness companion should build strength, endurance, and muscle mass simultaneously in your...

BlazePod - Reflex Training System

$299 - $399 Amazon »

What's BlazePod? Think whack-a-mole, Simon, and the personal trainer you love to hate. The flash reflex training system combines elements of all 3 - even some of the fun parts - into personal and professional kits designed...

The SHIIT Workout: Get Fit While You Sh*t

$10.99 Amazon »

You've heard of HIIT, right? That's High. Intensity. Interval. Training. Well get ready for some next level shit added to your HIIT. And I'm not just talkin' shit. I'm talkin' SHIIT. Your bathroom reader is about to become...

MoonRun Indoor Aerobic Trainer

Sold Out Amazon »

I hate running like Jordan hates the Pistons, but even I would be down for a MoonRun. MoonRun is a bungee- and resistance-band-based treadmill alternative for indoor runners that also happens to be completely portable...

Fusion Motion Portable Gym

$99.99 Amazon »

The Fusion Motion Portable Gym promises "gym-quality results anywhere." Enticing! Well, for most of us. The ones who used to go to the gym and sit on the recumbent bike for an hour while dicking around on Reddit and Instagram...

Theragun Mini Muscle Massager

$199 Amazon »

The one thing missing from my backpack: a jackhammer for my back. AKA the Theragun Mini, Theragun's portable version of their professional-level muscle massager that takes no knot or fascial adhesion prisoners...

Jawzrsize Jawline Exerciser & Neck Toner

Sold Out Amazon »

Dream on, Botox and face fillers, your injectable voodoo is no match for the Jawzrsize! If the product's stellar name didn't clue you in, Jawzrsize is an aerobics class for your mouth, a hands-free fitness tool made to...

Wing Chun Kung Fu Training Ring

$11.99 Amazon »

If everybody wants to have fun tonight, everybody should Wing Chun tonight. Don't know how to Wing Chun? I can help you learn! Haha, sike. I can hardly punch the buttons on my building's elevator without missing a couple...

Penis Weight Set

Discontinued

All the talk of building a prison body during quarantine made me seek out this penis weight set. Because while you can certainly do pushups, pullups, chinups, dips, and squats like a convicted felon, it's gonna be real...

Conquer Adjustable Height Cycling Trainer Desk

$159.95 Amazon »

Adjustable height cycling trainer desk? Looks more like an adjustable height cycling trainer airplane tray table. But for the cyclists I know who are serious about turning their road bikes into stationary bikes so they...

Canadian Spa Company 16' St. Lawrence Swim Spa

Sold Out Amazon »

Canadian Spa Company's 16' St. Lawrence Swim Spa is large enough to fit 17 people, but ain't no way that's happening anytime soon. Of course, neither is a thrice-weekly lap swim at the gym. Or an early-bird water workout...

Dimok Aqua Bag - Workout Sandbag Filled with Water

$74.95 Amazon »

Even when we are allowed outdoors again the Dimok Aqua Bag, a sandbag-style fitness tool you fill with water instead, seems like a fitness companion you might want to keep in your back pocket. First, when not filled the...

Bodyweight Exercise Cards

$17.99 Amazon »

Even if you don't have a lot of workout space in your home, I'll be you have room for these 2 things: a deck of cards; and your body. Bodyweight Exercise Cards invite you to hit the deck with mix-and-match fitness sessions...

Sling Shot Original - Weightlifting Strength Band

$62.70 Amazon »

The Sling Shot Original is kind of a weightlifting spotter and trainer in one. The kind that helps you bench 10% to 15% more than you normally would. The kind that stabilizes your form and reinforces proper technique...

Bello Digital Belly Fat Scanner

$189 Bello »

It's called Bello. Because the portable device is a belly fat scanner and "decoder." And also because that's probably what you're going to do when you see its results, and read what it has to say about all that damning...

Gronk Fitness Inertia Wave Workout Ropes

$119.95 Amazon »

I actually like Rob Gronkowski, and since the whole Gronkowski family has already been running the Gronk Fitness business for years, I don't mind that he's focusing his post-NFL-retirement time on trying to sell me shit...

Birt Plate Strength System

$30 - $200 Birt Strength Systems »

When Ryan Birt created the Birt Plate Strength System, injury was the mother of his invention. A college wrestling champion and football player, Birt injured his elbow in a football game, and found he couldn't lift a...

AFIXT Magnetic Water Bottle Holder

Discontinued

While the world is full of cup holders and flat surfaces, there are still times, especially at the gym, when you've got nowhere decent to store your water bottle. Or else you've found a great spot, but it's way over there...

Gaiam Balance Disc - Wobble Cushion for Your Desk Chair

$21.98 Amazon »

Time to start sweatin' your New Year's resolutions. The Gaiam Balance Disc is mostly a wobble cushion for your desk chair, but also partly an accessory for core strength and balance exercises out of your chair. It's a...

Beurer Infrared Heat Lamp for Pain Management & Relief

Discontinued

For once, seeing red can take you to a happy place. The Beurer Infrared Heat Lamp provides Red Light Therapy you can direct towards various angry body parts to ease colds, muscle tension and soreness, and aches and pains...

CubeFit Pulse Vibrating Foam Roller

$89.99 Amazon »

Bzzzzt! No, it's not your phone vibrating. Nope, it's not the other kind of vibrating gadget in your household either. This is the CubeFit Pulse Vibrating Foam Roller. It has no messages for you, no push notifications...

Acumobility Ultimate Back Roller

$59.95 Amazon »

The Acumobility Ultimate Back Roller is a somewhat intimidating bumpy wheel designed to release tension in the back, and reverse the unhealthy flexed, restricted state the spine tends to fall into from poor posture and...

The Friendly Swede Zipper Sweatband

$14.99 Amazon »

Zippered sweatbands, just another friendly gesture from your Friendly Swede. These sweat-catching wrist and ankle elastics come in sets of two, each with a lined pouch for storing keys, bills, credit cards, or even your...