Presenting the Alphabet: 20 Gifts that Start with L
Gifts for your love (Lil Friend Micro Fixed Blade Knife, Leg Chains), gifts for your lust (Lorals Latex Panties), and gifts for your little penis (Lightsaber Willy Warmer, Little Penis: A Finger Puppet Parody Book.) LOL!
Enjoy all the LOLs of the Ls with my 20 gifts that start with L.
Note: All alphabet gifts are priced as they were at printing on November 17, 2022. Pricing, and availability, are subject to change.
Lightning Reaction Reloaded - A Shocking Game
Well I hope the Reloaded version of Lightning Reaction doesn't follow in the footsteps of The Matrix and suck. Or maybe it's being cheeky and willingly emulating the trilogy's second installment - in the sense that while the original Lightning Reaction was unique and exhilarating, Lightning Reaction Reloaded is just plain painful. In any case, sending a defibrillating jolt of electricity through Grandma because she's got the slowest reaction time sounds like a grand cap off to Christmas with the fam. Maybe it will even put some pep back into her step. That wind-up granny can't beat you across the room now, can she, Nana?
Luminoodle LED TV Backlight
If you've been using your noodle you've probably learned how valuable a bendy rope of lights can be. And now your flexible, adaptable, bright-burning noodle has a new form with yet another application: TV backlighting. The Luminoodle TV sticks around the perimeter of the back of your flat screen (or computer monitor) to provide ambient lighting during viewing. It's an alternative to dealing with the glare of a lamp turned on in front of the television, and helps eliminate the eye strain and dryness that can come with watching a bright screen in a dark room.
LifeStraw Personal Water Filter
LifeStraw, a Time Magazine Invention of the Year Winner, removes a minimum of 99.9999% of waterborne bacteria. In areas plagued with dirty and unsafe drinking water, it filters up to 1,000 liters per apparatus into potable refreshment without the use of chemicals, batteries, or even moving parts. The LifeStraw also weighs only 2 ounces, making it easy to tote along on camping, hunting, or other trips off the beaten path, as well as simple to tuck away in homes or car glove compartments for emergency situations, or raging parties and bro nights that devolve into games of I Dare You to Drink That.
Lixada Pen Fishing Rod & Reel Set
No fishing around for the right words required to use the Lixada Pen Fishing Rod & Reel Set. When anglers cast a line of poetry with this pen, they'll cast an honest to goodness fishing line, the poetry coming from the beauty of their arc and precision and, of course, the fish they bring in as a result.
Collapsing down to just 8" long, and capped cleverly to look like a ballpoint (admittedly, an oversized ballpoint) the Lixada fishing rod is made with a corrosion-resistant aluminum alloy shell housing and a glass steel fiber construction Lixada says is strong enough to support big fish fights.
Lil Friend Micro Fixed Blade Knife
Say hello to my Lil Friend. Literally. At just 3.375" long, Boker's Magnum Lil Friend micro fixed blade isn't just small enough to slide into your pocket, it's small enough to slide into the wallet you slide into your pocket. Or more probably, given that the knife comes with a necklace and sheath, small enough to wear around your neck.
LectroFan White Noise Machine
Sleep should be simple. Get tired, lie down, close your eyes, enter Sandman. And maybe it would be if it weren't for that barking dog. The constant sirens. The voices outside. Or, worse, the total, eerie silence. Just you and your thoughts buzzing around, louder and louder, inside your head.
The LectroFan drowns out both the noise and the quiet with its personalized sleep therapy program. The device comes with 10 distinct fan sounds, plus 10 more non-repeating white noise sounds, so there's a good chance at least one of its hums, whirs, or other onomatopoeias has your (sleep) number.
Lightsaber Willy Warmer
This Lightsaber Willy Warmer might be the finest expression of Grandmas's yarn I ever saw. Not a bad tribute to Star Wars either, presuming you've mastered The Force well enough to wield this saber once it's fired up. Better ditch the Uh-huh! and Oh baby! and start practicing your Swish! and Buzz!
Logical Fallacies Poster
The Logical Fallacies Poster! Finally, ladies! A gift for every man you know. And finally, dudes! A gift for every woman you know. Teachers, a wall-mountable token for your students. Constituents, a mailing-tube-shippable reminder for your politicians. The only one here who doesn't need a poster to tell them if their arguments are disjointed, irrational, nonsensical, and outside the laws of logic is the AI in the copy room that's about 4 posts away from taking over my job.
LightDims Black Out Edition - Light-Blocking LED Covers
It's lights out - all lights out - with LightDims Black Out Edition. These light-blocking LED covers are designed specifically to mask the lights on your laptop / desktop computer, appliances, and other electronics. The ones you might find as distracting and irritating to your eyes as Karen, Sharon, Becky, and Chad are to your life in general.
Link flip-shoes, a hybrid their makers call "free like a flip-flop, safe as a shoe," are here to prove you wrong about at least one thing: no matter what you thought about Crocs or Keen Uneek monstrosities, Redneck Boot Sandals or any other shoe on earth, up to this point, you had not yet seen the ugliest.
Luchador Wrestling Windshield Wiper Tags
Give rain the flying elbow drop with this set of Lucha Libre Wrestler Windshield Wiper Tags. One mighty Luchador for your blade, one less fortunate Luchador for the area just below where the blade comes down. Even more clever than the Lightsaber Wiper Tag, and almost as beguiling as the one with Flexing Arnold.
Latitude S1 Snow Helmet with Built-In Comm System
Sena's Latitude S1 Snow Helmet pairs safety with safety...or the pleasure of shooting the shit with your friends on the slopes, depending on how you view and use the Bluetooth comm system built into the helmet's protective ABS shell.
Nothing sets off a slit better than...well, the leg underneath it. Ahem, Angelina Jolie. But after that, definitely one of these Leg Chains. Any one of them. They're all hot. So hot. Like, Yowza!, Waa-waa-wee-wow!, How you doin'? hot. My preference is the dangly silver Leg Chain with the turquoise bauble, but I'd take my wife, She-Ra: Princess Power, in any one of them.
Leg Chains secure at the thigh with an elastic band that maybe isn't comfortable, and maybe doesn't stay up that well after a while of wear, but, you know what they say about beauty and style and being sexy.
LEGO Puzzle Boxes
All LEGO sets present their builders with a puzzle of sorts, but cheat3 Puzzles levels up the process with their LEGO Puzzle Boxes. The brick formations arrive assembled, and in your choice of Easy, Medium, or Hard difficulty ratings, but the challenge here isn't to build your own LEGO creation, but to get "prizes" to pop out of the one cheat3 has designed.
Some LEGO Puzzle Boxes can hold actual prizes, such as a gift card, but others simply contain LEGO money bricks your goal is to make pop out of the sides of the box using included poker tools to shift and rearrange the bricks surrounding them.
Lorals Latex Panties - A New Way to Say Yes to Oral
Finally! A wearable dental dam! Lorals Latex Panties, despite being able to stop right there - latex panties? I'm in! Wrap some in every style up as a gift for my wife - aren't just sexy underwear to look at, they're functional underwear to don during sexy time. Lorals deems their brand of ultra-thin disposable latex panties, "A new way to say yes to oral," because they enable ladies to enjoy them some oral sex without fully exposing their pleasure parts.
LAVA ME 2 Carbon Fiber Guitar with Effects
While I can't play a guitar, and know nothing about guitar builds and quality, I do LAVA ME some carbon fiber, and LAVA's LAVA ME 2 unibody guitar is made with Super AirSonic carbon fiber material. And not only to make it look cool.
As with many carbon fiber applications, the LAVA ME 2's Super AirSonic fibers make the guitar ultralight, just 3.7 pounds. Combined with its one-piece injection molded technology, LAVA says the LAVA ME 2 is more comfortable to hold and play than a traditional guitar, but sacrifices none of the acoustics.
Lilly Brush Pet Hair Remover
The Lilly Brush pet hair remover is named not after the tidy, hairless flower, but a shedding ball of fur and fluff and floof, who herself was (perhaps erroneously) named after the tidy, hairless flower. Lilly was Lilly Brush founder Elsie Hamilton's Australian Shepherd, and the dog who taught her old-school sticky pet hair rollers and velvety scrapers were anything but the cat's meow.
This version of the Lilly Brush is their Mini Pet Remover, a 4" x 3" tool with scraper-style edges and pointed corners strong enough to dig out and ball up embedded dog, cat, rabbit, and snake fur from couches, carpet, clothes, car seats, and any other crevices it nestles into.
Little Penis: A Finger Puppet Parody Book
Little Penis! You and your finger puppet are so dirty. No, Dirty. With a great big "D". It's cool, though. Dirty Santa approves. He gives you 2 thumbs and 1 eyed willy up. And those who want to wrap up this finger puppet parody children's book that is 100% not suitable for children as a Dirty Santa or White Elephant gift this year can make the ruse even...rusier?...by packing Little Penis in a Shark Fart Prank Gift Box.
Luxafor Flag Availability Indicator
The Luxafor Flag is an LED status indicator that clips onto your workstation where you can toggle it from red to green to let your coworkers - ha! Coworkers? No, these days the Luxafor Flag is for communicating your current availability to your kids, your wife, your husband, your dog Louie, and your cat Zanzibar. You know, those you live with who seem to think that because you're perpetually at home, you're also perpetually free to talk to, read to, opine on remodeling the living room with, pet, and play human jungle gym to them.
A green Luxafor Flag glowing from your laptop signals you are, in fact, game for the above, while a red Luxafor Flag tells them to zip it and move along.
Liteboxer Boxing Fitness Machine
The Liteboxer is a connected boxing platform that "knocks out boredom by immersing you in music, competition and punches." Its LED-lit targets and trademarked Rhythm Technology sync to the beat of the music pumping from the attached Liteboxer speaker, cueing you to punch along to the 8-count at your selected level of difficulty. Kind of like playing Whac-A-Mole in the club.
The Liteboxer companion app comes with a variety of types and levels of training sessions, including a growing collection led by boxing trainers. You can also supplement the intense cardio partio with Liteboxer's functional strength training and yoga-based workouts.