Dude's Must See Products for May 2020

It's that time of year again. Gotta watch out for the ol' vent dragons building nests in your air ducts. Pushing through the grilles when they get jumpy, or smell bacon cooking. Tempting your children, possibly your wives too, into adopting them as pets. Don't succumb, dudes! The vent dragons are intruders, not pets! They're invading your home, not protecting it! They're the reason the whole house smells like raw meat in a musty cave every time the heat or AC kicks on!

Vent Dragons come from the mind and hands of fantasy artist David Lee Pancake. (Yep, his name makes me hungry too.) They are not, I repeat not intended to fit over your actual air duct vents, unless you want to tempt the dragons to breathe actual fire. Vent Dragons are 12" x 7" 3D pieces of what look to be metal and resin artwork you can mount anywhere else on your wall. They come with a remote control to power the LED lights Pancake has installed in the dragons' eyes. The lighted eye have 8 settings, from fast blinking to continuous, predatory glow.

May the 4th be with you, and may the Rona be in a galaxy far, far away. This series of Star Wars face masks is from Ethical Addiction, made in honor of favorite franchise characters - from Chewbacca to Vader, Yoda (adult-size) to the Mandalorian - and in response to health safety practices we've adopted to combat Covid-19.

The sock-style masks, which the kids in Ethical Addiction's homeland of Canada apparently call "buffees," are made of 70% rayon bamboo, 25% cotton, and 5% spandex. They are washable and, thanks to their natural bamboo threads, anti-microbial and moisture-wicking.

While definitely funk and futuristic in its appearance, the BioVYZR 1.0 - which, by the way, isn't even from the land of funk that is Japan, it's from Canada! - is nowhere near the craziest face mask or headwear EDC I've ever seen. And I'm not even talking about PPE, or protective gear that's come out in response to the COVID-19 pandemic. Check out the Hovding, an airbag bicycle helmet you wear around your neck. Or the Nubrella, a wearable umbrella that covers your head like a dome. Or, my personal favorite, the Helmfon, a noise canceller that looks like a supersized Mega Man helmet.

My point is, while the BioVYZR definitely looks like a high-end hazmat headpiece, or maybe a new line of astronaut streetwear, it's not so foreign or off putting to me that I'd refuse to wear it.

Where there's smoke there's usually fire, and where there's smoke and a pen, there's usually a vaporizer, but in this case, there's a Regin S220 Smoke Pen. The Smoke Pen is a home maintenance tool for smokers and non-smokers alike to use in detecting air leaks, verifying ventilation systems, determining negative or positive air pressure, and ensuring they don't find themselves amidst the type of smoke that does indicate a fire.

Like the CRC Smoke Test, you can wave a lit Smoke Pen under your smoke detectors to test that they're functioning properly. It's more versatile than the CRC aerosol can though, since the small and handy Smoke Pen is can also help with tests related to airflow and ventilation in your home. Dog whisperers and police officers might find it useful in K9 scent detection training too.

Ahoy, dudes! Who's ready to set sail this summer on a...stand up paddleboard? Kayak? Canoe? This pop-up wind sail attaches to speed-craving, or just lazy, paddlers' and rowers' chosen water farer to kick your trip up a few knots.

The sail is made of PVC and has 2 carabiners at the bottom to clip to the front of your board or boat. Straps extending from the top of the sail either meet in a "Y" to loop over your paddle, or clip on to the back sides of the board / boat. A clear panel across the middle of the sail allegedly provides a window to see where the lake-and-sea you're going, but from the looks of it...I hope your other 4 senses are good navigators too.

So many surprising and delightful things about this fire baton from Trick Concepts! First, by fire baton, I thought they meant it was a stick you could use to put out, or at least beat back fires. Admittedly, that sounds unbelievable, but the improbability of it hooked me, and made me click on the fire baton listing to find out what the flames was going on. And then when I got there....

Oh boy. As in hot diggity dog. As in...boobies! You were probably wondering how the kevlar-wicked fire stick got my NSFW rating. The reason, as a quick look at its Amazon listing will indicate, is its "lifestyle shot," which features a lit fire baton flanking an even hotter pair of boobies. And not just any boobies. Boobies whose visibility and caliber qualify them as another entry in my catalogue of the top images I can't believe are allowed on Amazon.

Panasonic is expanding its HomeHawk home security system series this summer with the HomeHawk Window, a monitoring camera that installs in, uh, your home window. You know, facing out.

Other products in Panasonic's HomeHawk line include a complete outdoor home security system, but the Window offers a less gear-heavy, more compact, and more versatile option for those who don't want to mount multiple cameras to their building. It suction cups to any window - and therefore can be moved between windows as circumstances require - and uses motion detection and a 150-degree wide angle lens to record visitors, delivery people, prowlers, and squirrel shenanigans in 1080P full color HD, even at night.