17 of the Best Boozy Gifts for 2020
My collection of 17 of the best boozy gifts for 2020 isn't just about the booze itself. The beer, the wine, the liquor, sure, there's some of that. But there's also a lot of what you're gonna put your booze in. How you're gonna serve it. How you're gonna make it better. ... And in one case, how you're gonna make yourself better when 16 of the 17 best boozy gifts for 2020 aim to stick you with the worst hangover of 2020 the next morning.
Note: products are priced as they were at printing. Pricing, and availability, are subject to change.
Quaffer Double Bubble Layered Shot Glass
It was Jimmy Quaffa's destiny to design the Quaffer double bubble layered shot glass. Because "Quaffer" isn't just a play on Jimmy's name, it's an actual, dictionary-defined noun. One that probably existed long before Papa Quaffa got Mama Quaffa all Quaffa-ed up. A quaffer is one who drinks his beverage "copiously and heartily." Especially when that beverage is an alcoholic one, such as a fine ale or a jagerbomb.
The Quaffer is basically a shot glass with a built-in chaser. Its patented hourglass shape keeps the booze on top and follow-up on the bottom, completely separate, until you throw them back in one smooth, Bond-like gesture. Physics makes the Quaffer's consolidated liquid storage and attractive visuals possible, since most liquor is less dense than sugar-based chasers. To set up your shot combo, pour the chaser in first, and then pour the alcohol on top against the inside of the glass, as opposed to directly into the bottom chamber.
WineBlock Red Wine Stain Preventing Lip & Teeth Balm
Wine-stained teeth - and clothes, and carpets - have plenty of products focused on them, and the removal of the red devil from those places that make it a buzzkill. WineBlock sets itself apart as a prevention of, rather than a cure for your wine-sloshing teeth and lips. Apply the mouth balm before your first sip of red, and WineBlock says it will block the wine from infiltrating your porous places and leaving behind stains on your teeth and lips that look as bloodshot tonight as your eyes will after drinking that whole bottle of 15.4% Cab in the morning.
Drinkworks Home Bar by Keurig
I'm not sure if Keurig's latest podvention is a good thing or a bad thing. K-Cups don't win a lot of points for their single-use, environmentally unfriendly nature, and this automatic drinkmaker requires special carbonation and water filter cartridges too. But cocktails at home are often either one-note, or fancy but restricted to a single option, because you can't afford - cash- and/or space-wise - to stock an elaborate bar full of booze and its equally elaborate array of mixers. So I guess the Drinkworks Home Bar's worthiness depends on how much more you like making cocktails and saving cash and space than you do making conscientious decisions and saving the planet.
Going with the cocktails, eh?
Buty & The Beast Wines
Buty, pronounced byoo-tee, is for Nina Buty, founder of this wonderful Walla Walla, WA winery and her namesake label. And The Beast, pronounced thuh beest, is for Buty's second wine label, so named because Buty's sense of humor is almost as good as her wine.
And I only say "almost" because her wine is really, really damn good.
Bulletproof Whisky Vault
Protect your family. Protect your friends. Protect your whiskey. The Whisky Vault (we'll agree to disagree on whether or not the word is better with an "e") is for the most serious of whisk(e)y collectors. Those who feel that with great liquor comes great responsibility, and if you're going to collect it, you better protect it.
The Whisky Vault considers the glistening brown elixir a work of art as much as a tasty beverage. So, yes, true to its name, the Vault provides an ultra-secure place to store your best bottles. Its machined aluminum spindle wheel handle opens a door locked with bolts controlled by a UL-certified LA GARD electronic lock system. The body of the safe is steel plate construction, with the exception of the panoramic display window, which is made of bulletproof glass.
Giant Crystal Glass Brandy Snifters
Nothing does the Remy Martin XO justice like a giant crystal glass brandy snifter that can hold a whole bottle of it. Several bottles of the red-gold liquor when you go with a 12000mL version of the stemware, but that seems borderline tacky, no?
If you dudes are anything like this dude, you've been adding to, and then getting into, your liquor stash on a nightly basis these days. And while drinking from a supersized snifter may have once seemed silly, excessive, even desperate...ain't no such thing anymore!
Pure Titanium Beer Mug
The 99.5% pure titanium not-quite-pint glass holds 15 ounces of your favorite brew, or really any drink you like. With vacuum insulation it can keep cold drinks and ice chilled for hours, and resists condensation buildup on the outside walls. Mugs are rust- and limescale-resistant, and come in 5 shiny happy colors that I guess make the titanium beer mugs look as luxe and beer gift worthy as their price tags make them out to be.
Fire Extinguisher Mini Bar
Put out the flames of thirst with a couple fingers of firewater from Jerry Can Bar's Fire Extinguisher Mini Bar. In a further twist on the Etsy shop's twist on portable bar cabinets, the Fire Extinguisher Mini Bar trades out the German military jerry can design for one shaped like the perfect holiday gift for a firefighter, or any dude you know who likes to respond to emergencies...with a stiff drink.
Airplane Whiskey Decanter & Glass Set
Now this is the kind of Here comes the airplane! I'd gladly open wide for. The Airplane Whiskey Decanter sets your night(cap) in flight with a Borosilicate glass fuselage set between the wings, wheels, and tail of an antique plane. For proper weight and balance, the decanter set also comes with 2 etched tumblers tucked between its upper and lower wings.
Scapegrace Gin begins with the finest Kiwi water in the land. New Zealand-based Scapegrace Distillery builds its namesake liquors from the glacial waters of the Southern Alps of New Zealand - bodies the company claims have 80 years of filtration under their belt, and are filled by rain and snow that, thanks to New Zealand's unique geography, doesn't fall from clouds "passing over land masses belching out car fumes and agricultural enhancers."
From there Scapegrace Gin, like many of its boozy counterparts, is all about the botanicals. With 3 different aromatic takes to choose from, Scapegrace Gins range from a "citrus and super smooth" Classic to a circus of offbeat flavors, and a decidedly offbeat natural color, in the Scapegrace Black.
Handmade Wooden Beer Mugs
OakWoodWork's fine handmade wooden beer mugs come in 3 different sizes, and an array of styles. Many of them are engraved with popular references from the likes of Game of Thrones, World of Warcraft, and Lord of the Rings. You can also have the mugs personalized.
Brumate Glitter Flask
Summer is boozin' in the park season. Summer is bachelorette season. But every season is Glitter Champagne, Glitter Mermaid, and Glitter Maleficent season, so getting a Brumate Glitter Flask as a gift for your girlfriend is both a win now, and a win forevermore.
5-Gallon Copper Alembic Still for Whiskey & Moonshine
Don't people wear copper bracelets to reduce inflammation and boost immunity? Well. Imagine how un-swollen and impervious to disease I'm going to be after drinking 5 gallons of whiskey from this copper alembic still!
It's called the Copperholic - a name I might have reconsidered given the obvious addiction reference - and it's a stunning 3-piece set made of pure hammered copper and brass. Though ideal for whiskey or moonshine, the copper alembic still is also game from hydro distillation or steam distillation, so you can also use it to cook up some essential oils, or perhaps other fun plant extractions from other fun plants.
Vaportini Liquor Inhaler
A glass globe-and-funnel contraption straight out of the Real Genius chem lab, the Vaportini kit gassifies alcohol into a breathable cloud of intoxication. Instant intoxication. Calorie-free intoxication. Yes, I agree. The Vaportini is both the best and worst* culinary invention ever created.
Don't Break the Bottle Wine Puzzle
In addition to precluding Dad's sly downing of the entire bottle of wine you've given him within 30 minutes of unwrapping it, this brain-bending puzzle winding its way around a fine red set in wooden cozy will also reinforce in him all of those character-building buzzwords tossed your way during the talkings to he gave you as a kid.
You know, the ones that ended with you stomping off, seething in anger over having gotten an earful about patience, discipline, and applying yourself instead of tickets to Soundgarden.
PATRON Margarita Smart Coaster by Barsys
For your precise, consistent, and immense blue agave sipping pleasure, Barsys has
teamed tequila-ed up with PATRON for their latest tech-infused cocktail venture, the PATRON Margarita Smart Coaster. Based on their original mini mixologist for your tabletop, the PATRON Margarita Smart Coaster is a limited-edition kit that walks users through every step of constructing the perfect margarita, or any other cocktail they have a thirst for.
Toast! Before You Drink Gummies
I've seen "adult gummies" meant to get you F'd up, but Toast! Before You Drink Gummies are adult gummies that claim to prevent it. Or at least the hangover that follows. The headache. The ass-breath cotton mouth belching forth flavors of rancid whiskey and Coke. The churning stomach that doesn't know whether it wants a pile of bacon or a pile of barf bags. Maybe the second one, and then the first one. Wouldn't want to waste all that good bacon.
The market is already flooded with hangover cures and preventions, but Toast! Before You Drink Gummies believe they can give booze the ol' Care Bear Stare in a brand new, much simpler, and more effective way. According to Toast!, "Before You Drink Gummies are designed to stop the body's immune response [to alcohol] from ever happening."