A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear, Novelties and Zombies    * Updated daily
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Friday, January 11, 2013
Star Wars Death Star Heart Necklace
$10 from Etsy »

Christmas: Over. Valentine's Day: Dammit! Still to come. But get your wife/girlfriend/favorite cheese girl at the Whole Foods a Star Wars Death Star Heart Necklace, and you'll both check another gift off your list and make staring at more...

Sunday, February 19, 2012
Indestructible Biometric Wallet
$825 from Dunhill London »

Like the women who fall prey to your Don Juan wiles, the Biometric Wallet opens up to your touch, and your touch alone. It is an equally high-tech and high-fashion financial bodyguard that is virtually indestructible, and programs to more...

Sunday, December 09, 2012
iPood Baby Onesie
$17.50 from Amazon »

iPood. The onesie that states the obvious, perpetual reality for chilluns between the ages of 6 and 18 months old. And instead of a button for blasting its volume, the iPood comes with a button that aids kiddos in blasting its aromatic emissions. Crank it up to 11, Baby G! Available in black and white short sleeved, legless onesie models, the iPood surely has to be the first in a series of Apple more...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013
The Big Face Woody Bamboo Watch
$65 - $75 from Kickstarter »

The Big Face Woody. Is the name alone not reason enough to pledge our support of Oahu designer NFNT's bamboo watch? I wonder how many people inadvertently stumble across this eco-friendly wooden timepiece during Google searches for...other more...

Tuesday, February 05, 2013
Final Fantasy Buster Sword Necklace
$41 from Etsy »

Cloud Strife needs some help wielding his massive Buster Sword and Zack seems to be busy at the moment. Want to wear it around your neck? Chainmail mastro Michelle has hand woven a 23" gunmetal chain to support its hefty length and more...

Saturday, October 13, 2012
Demon Hooves Heel Less Boots
$900 from Etsy »

I guess I can kind of see now why some people are turned on by goats. Oonacat's Demon Hooves, a pair of spiked, knee-high boots with cloven foot pads in place of typical toes and heels are pretty sick. I mean in the good way, not in the goat-sodomizing way. To get the hooves' full effect, and for proof that A) it is possible to move in them without toppling over and B) women deserve a medal made more...

Friday, March 22, 2013
Zombie Doll Tights
$35 from Etsy »

These are called Zombie Doll tights, but they are actually meant to be worn by women, not dolls. Unless you happen to be both, like this chick, who pretty much defines the terms "personality disorder", "bat shit crazy", and "still hot more...

Friday, January 06, 2012
Brain Hat
$5 from Ravelry »

Too stoic to wear your heart on your sleeve? Then wear your frontal lobe on your Bieber side-swept bangs! The "brainchild" of a self-proclaimed starving medical student, this clever, kitschy knitting pattern will earn you double takes more...

Thursday, September 20, 2012
Reindeer Threesome Sweater
Sold Out from Amazon »

It's a highly inappropriate Rudolph sandwich, wherein Rudolph proves that he can both dish it out and take it. The Reindeer Threesome Sweater is to make your holidays, and particularly your impending Ugly Christmas Sweater parties extra more...

Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Batman Begins Motorcycle Suit
$1,196 from UD Replicas »

From the brilliant mind of Lucius Fox and "the copycats" at UD Replicas comes this faithful rendition of the bat suit as worn by Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins. Painstaking work with the original screen suits has gone into capturing the more...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Sunday, January 13, 2013
Yoda Hoodie
Sold Out from Etsy »

Hand-sewn Yoda heads atop plush tan sweatshirts we will wear. Those of us who carry the Force will anyway. And with the Yoda Hoodies' slouchy front pockets, we'll even have a place to stuff it for safekeeping. Erin Maynard carefully more...

Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Glow-in-the-Dark Galaxy Underwear
$18 from Etsy »

If you liked Black Milk Clothing's Galaxy Purple Leggings, take a gander at Portland, Oregon-based Make It Good's Glow-in-the-Dark Galaxy Underwear. Available in both women's bikini cuts and men's boxer briefs the black-and-solar-system-speckled more...

Monday, June 04, 2012
Unicorn Head Mask
$21.82 from Amazon »

Product literature describes the Magical Unicorn Mask, a whole-head extravaganza of latex, as "vaguely disturbing." Uh, vaguely? For me, a mythical creature whose facial expression sort of makes it look like it's being sodomized hits more...

Sunday, March 03, 2013
Chainmail Ties
$70 - $180 from Etsy »

Previously if someone had asked me how to make bow ties more dapper I would have called trick question BS. You! Can't! I would have exclaimed. Their plaid and polka-dotted prints have propelled them to their dapper pinnacle, which is more...

Sunday, September 02, 2012
Lord of the Rings Sauron Armor Set

Antagonist. Necromancer. Lord of the Rings. SRG Armoury brings the darkness and malevolence of Tokien's Sauron to life in this custom-made Full Plate Armor Set. Constructed from 16 - 18 gauge mild steel, all suits are forged to order more...

Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Star Wars Comics Dress
$89.99 from Etsy »

Aaahhh! Sensory overload! Star Wars, comic books, low cut, short skirt, hot girl...too many pleasing stimuli for my sensitive male ecosystem to process. Now this is a New Year's Eve dress if I've ever seen one. more...

Thursday, February 14, 2013
Reversible Smoking Jackets
$225 from Beta Brand »

I don't usually smoke, but when I do, I also like to dress up like a Red Dragon, wear a monocle--in both eyes--and sip whiskey out of my Swig & Puff Flask. I also like when the dragon costume is subtle enough to wear to work. And holy more...

Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Giant Inflatable Penis Costume
Sold Out from Amazon »

Something tells me that 90% of the time someone buys a Giant Inflatable Penis Costume, it's to give to someone else. But what's wrong with wanting to walk around dressed as a 7-foot tall penis yourself? I mean, I act like a dick on more...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Pixelhead
$200 from Martin Backes »

Suck it, Facebook! For a mere $200, Pixelhead will guarantee I never again have to worry about my boss' boss' boss finding his Timeline filled with photos of me double Boobs Ice Luging it with his 22-year-old daughter. Even if I'm tagged, more...

Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Kids Ultimate Bearded Beanie
$35 from Etsy »

The bearded beanie is a perfect way to keep your kid warm and make him look like he has a beard. I have a feeling that it is also a great way to torment your kid, give him an itchy face, and possibly have lasting effects on is psyche more...

Friday, May 11, 2012
Kisai 7 LED Watch
$139 from Tokyo Flash »

And the best part is, no one will ever suspect it's a watch! The Kisai 7 LED watch is another trippy, limited edition Tokyoflash creation, with two rings and two L-bars of searing blue pronouncing the hours and minutes of the day. more...

Sunday, December 16, 2012
Skuuzi Beer Glove
$29.99 from Amazon »

Of course I don't need a mitten-koozie hybrid so that I may drink chilled alcoholic beverages in freezing temperatures, one right after another like the gluttonous, midwestern lush that I am, without rendering my delicate fingers too more...

Monday, March 18, 2013
Camo Titanium Ring
$99.99 from Etsy »

Here's a clever solution for men who want to hide that they're married without taking off their wedding ring: finger camo! "I swear I had it on the whole night, but no one seemed to see it...." Laid over a titanium band to further increase more...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Super Mario Latex Dress
$465 from Etsy »

Hot. Sexy. Latex. When I think of Mario Bros. those are definitely the first 3 words that come to mind. And this latex dress captures that perfectly. I wonder how sweaty I would get if I tried to put that thing on? Not wear it.... just more...

Saturday, May 26, 2012
Dragon Wrap Earring
$34.22 from Amazon »

Will you name the fire breather coiled around your ear Viserion, Rhaegal, or Drogon? Add a little Daenerys Targaryen to your wardrobe with a menacing, yet somehow cuddly-loooking Dragon Wrap Earring. Its tail extends through the pierced more...

Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Harley Quinn Leggings

She's just been let loose to wreak havoc and revenge in Batman: Arkham City. Harley Quinn's equally deadly next stop? Ladies' legs. And this time, her weapon of choice is an explosive cocktail of Polyester and Spandex. Black Milk's more...

Saturday, August 27, 2011
Sex Panther Cologne
$34.95 from Amazon »

I've heard that a certain percentage of the time this stuff works every time. That's what I've heard. I'm not sure what those exact percentages are though. Oh, okay... I'm being told it's 60% of the time. Those are good odds. more...

Friday, April 27, 2012
Tetris Swimsuit
Discontinued

What's better than a girl wearing skin-sucking Lycra pants with legs smattered in Tetris blocks? A girl wearing no pants. With an ass smattered in Tetris blocks. Just in time for the heat, the beach, and the pubescent teenagers scared more...

Saturday, August 18, 2012
Cult TV Show Chuck Taylors
$85 from Tauntr »

Dexter, Walter White, Jesse Pinkman, Rick Grimes, Ron F**king Swanson, they already hold a place close to our hearts. Thanks to the design maestros at Tauntr.com, so too can they hold a place close to our corns, callouses, and bunions. more...

Sunday, September 04, 2011
Zombie Stitch Necklace
$16 from Etsy »

The living and the undead are vastly different creatures. But one thing holds true... zombie snitches get zombie stitches. This choker acts as a suture across a non-existent gash in your neck undoubtedly given to you for your insolence more...