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Dango MC01 Titanium Money Clip

Money, money, money, mooooneyyyy! Dango introduces the MC01 Titanium Money Clip for dudes who aren't into urban traveling light with just a few cards and a slim front pocket wallet. Dudes who don't care that cash is a...

Chip on Your Shoulder Costume

$24 Etsy »

Ah, the Chip on Your Shoulder Costume. Halloween garb that's as tasty as it is punny, and made especially for those like myself who aren't into the whole dress-up thing, and don't put much thought into what we're going...

Luminous Mermaid Dress

$9,600 Etsy »

Make a Splash! at this year's Halloween costume party with a Luminous Mermaid Dress from Night Walker Art. Haha, Splash!, get it? Anyone...anyone...Daryl Hannah?...

Ressence Type 1 Slim HOD Watch for HODINKEE

$22,500 HODINKEE »

HODINKEE isn't trying to HOODWINKEE you: standout Belgian watch brand Ressence has developed the Type 1 Slim HOD wristwatch in a very limited edition of 20; with a super-streamlined case stemming from their original Type...

ShieldPod Wearable Protective Barrier

Sold Out Amazon »

Who's in the market for an XXXXXL condom...for your entire upper body? The ShieldPod is a "wearable protective barrier" from Under the Weather, who have appeared to pivot their line of sit-down wearable rain and bug shields...

Fake Freckle Pens

$6.98 Amazon »

Oh the changing whims of beauty! Seems like just yesterday everyone was buying makeup to hide their freckles, and now we have Freckle Pens made specifically to help dot on fake ones. Ladies, I don't know how you keep...

Lorals Latex Panties - A New Way to Say Yes to Oral

$25 Lorals »

Finally! A wearable dental dam! Lorals Latex Panties, despite being able to stop right there - latex panties? I'm in! Wrap some in every style up as a gift for my wife - aren't just sexy underwear to look at, they're...

Chameleon Tape Measure

Sold Out Amazon »

Before I tell you about the delightful and whimsical Chameleon Tape Measure from Coppertist.Wu, let me tell you an almost unbelievable nugget of information about the chameleon, and namely the chameleon's tongue, the...

Dr. Squatch Star Wars Collection Soap

Perhaps once they see Dr. Squatch's Star Wars Collection Soap your kiddos won't want to cast bathtime into a galaxy far, far away. A limited edition from the hairy beast grooming brand, Star Wars Soaps pay equal homage...

SPOTMYUV Stickers - Detect When to Reapply Sunscreen

$14.99 - $34.99 Amazon »

As if it's not bad enough my mama still nags me to wear sunscreen, now she's gonna slap a SPOTMYUV sticker detector on me everytime I go to her house so she can nag me to reapply it. SPOTMYUV is a color-changing UV detection...

Razer Sneki Snek Slippers

$49.99 Razer »

Fans of Razer's Sneki Snek will ssssscream for the tech brand's new Sneki Snek Slippers. So too might non-gamers who just really like snakes, or even evil ducks, since that's what the slippers iteration of Sneki Snek...

Penis Body Pillow

$162 Etsy »

This Penis Body Pillow from Crochet Moore Co. is essentially a boyfriend pillow for people who don't necessarily bemoan not having the strong arm and cozy chest of a boyfriend, but do regret the absence of a boyfriend's...

Firefighter Gear & Bulletproof Vest Garbage Sweater

$495 Vollebak »

Vollebak's latest inspiration: landfills. The Garbage Sweater is woven from old, discarded firefighter suits and bulletproof vests - items that, having outlived their useful life, were headed to die in the dump. So in...

Stubble Buddy Beard & Manscaping Vacuum

$29.99 Stubble Buddy »

Um, is that McDreamy hawking the Stubble Buddy beard and manscaping vacuum? If so, sorry this is what life dealt you after the Grey's Anatomy kill-off...

Crown Nipple Rings (NSFW)

$19.90 Etsy »

Maybe she calls herself a queen. Maybe she calls herself a princess. She's definitely some level of royalty. So I think it's time to bow down and crown her. No, lower. Nooooo...not that low. This crown is for her nipple...

The #DadCrop - Dad Crop Top

$34.99 Etsy »

Show off that dad bod this summer with the #DadCrop, a sexy upgrade to Dad's favorite piece of clothing: the hoodie. The #DadCrop can make dads everywhere look more hip, more fashionable, more Tik-Tok-ready while picking...

Wood & Titanium Engagement Ring

$105 Etsy »

Shine bright like a...piece of Patagonian virapita wearing this titanium band engagement ring topped with a radiant-cut piece of wood. A good 3 carats from the looks of it...

Speedland SL:PDX Trail Running Shoes

$375 Speedland »

I don't know if Speedland's SL:PDX trail running shoes will up your trail running game, but the Portland brand's high-performance, modifiable footwear will certainly up your mint green fashion game...

Reef Spackler Golf Sandal

Not sure about the flip-flops part, but Reef's Spackler Golf Sandals aren't wrong in suggesting golf and beer go well together. A (very) limited edition release from the brand, the Spackler Golf Sandal builds on Reef's...

Mighty Patch Pimple Patch

$11.97 Amazon »

Pimple. Zit. Acne. Pus volcano. Blemish if you're being fancy. The Mighty Patch Pimple Patch destroys them all. At least according to Mighty Patch themselves, who say their medical-grade hydrocolloid sticker "absorbs...

Micro Crochet Animals

$33.60 - $68 Etsy »

Lookee, lookee at the itty bitty crochet sloth. The teeny tiny crochet elephant. The weeeee little crochet penguin. The...I can't. I have to stop. All these Micro Crochet Animals, these things that make you go awww, are...

Ursula Octopus Bracelet

$29 Etsy »

Can't find an Octopus Teacher? How about an Ursula Octopus Bracelet instead? Can't find the unleashed Kraken? How about an Ursula Octopus Bracelet instead? Can't find a unicorn gift for your girlfriend? How about an Ursula...

Mystery Ranch 3-Way Briefcase

Sold Out Amazon »

How do you get a briefcase to morph between traditional office carrier, modern shoulder bag, and utilitarian backpack? It's a Mystery. Mystery Ranch, that is...

Emo Football Parody Sports Shirts

We've seen emo football in the winces and whines of Tom Brady. Emo basketball in the tantrums of LeBron James. Emo soccer in the rolling on the ground, gripping a leg in pain from...pretty much every soccer player out...