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Skeleton King Triple Knuckle Ring

By: on April 29, 2012
$22.75
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The Skeleton King and his sword are here to protect your honor, your purity, and your Pointer, Tallman, and Ringman. (Sorry, Pinky, but the English are responsible for this triple knuckle duster. If you want your own oversized ring to fling around, say, along with the F bomb, call the Italians.) The skeleton slides over two fingers, measures 2.4" wide, and boasts a dapper British accent that renders him deceptively benign. Silver rhinestones dot his crown, and heart-shaped eyes reassure victims that when the king of calcification drives his iron blade through their aortas so that he may eat their hearts and absorb their life forces, he does it with love.

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Skull Gas Fireplace Logs

$61.95 from Amazon »

Time to surprise my girlfriend with a romantic night by the fire. And a romantic fire filled with human skull fireplace logs. Who knew bone made such fine kindling?...

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Glass Skull Tiki Torch

$29.99 from Amazon »

No need to wait for Halloween to line your path with Skull Tiki Torches. I think the creepy lanterns of death would make great additions to Labor Day weekend parties too. They certainly capture my feelings about the end...

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Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun

$62.03 from Amazon »

When it comes to delivery method, punching someone in the face has 3 tiers of awesome: 1) Bare fist; 2) Fist coated in brass knuckles; 3) Fist coated in brass knuckles juiced up to deliver 950,000 volts of blue lightning...

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Ex-Boyfriend Revenge Kit

$1,680 from Her Royal Flyness »

I am drawing this Ex-Boyfriend Revenge Kit to the world's attention only so that if anyone sees a woman carrying a bluish-greenish colored purse you'll know to report her immediately to a shrink, the police, and Batman....

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Defiant Craft Knuckle Dusters

$8.90 - $17.99 from Defiant Craft »

When I saw this set of Defiant Craft knuckle dusters I thought of the Bon Jovi song "Have a Nice Day", and also what I would like to use the knuckle dusters to do to the speaker that's playing the Bon Jovi song "Have...

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Skull Armchair

By: Harow »

Another supervillain yahtzee! This black skull armchair was the one prop missing from my master plan to raise an army of babies and eliminate all cats and bike lanes from my township! The only downside is that it does...

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TigerLady Self-Defense Claw

$29 from TigerLady »

Remember that old Secret deodorant commercial? Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman? I'd put TigerLady in that same category. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman...to slash, gouge, and rip apart any...

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Fatboy NukoHead

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NukoTools' Fatboy NukoHead provides 3/8" of non-metallic double-knuckle impact for maximal Don't F with me effect. And since it looks like Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas, you may not even need to...

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Freetoo Outdoor Gloves

$12.98 - $21.68 from Amazon »

Men, what can you do with Freetoo's outdoor gloves? An Amazon reviewer says, "I threw several heavy punches at a tree in my yard. And no it didn't feel good on my hand but it didn't damage it at all. If you punch someone...

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Erasmus Darwin's Steam-Cerebrum Skull

$53.99 from Apollo »

The Erasmus Darwin's Steam-Cerebrum Skull wishes all you Frobisher Brophys, Inquisitor Victor Lippetts, and Prof. Dr. Elias Claver, Esquires out there a Happy Neo-Victorian Halloween! A full 360 degrees of eye(socket)-catching...

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Skull Ultra-Loud Electric Bike Horn

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Hear that, vehicles, kids zoned out in headphones, and grandmas too preoccupied with your walkers to take heed of my Swagcycle coming up hot behind you? It's 120dB of honking coming from my electric bike horn. Yep, the...

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Phantom Skull Decanter

$20.95 from Amazon »

I'm not sure the skull in this decanter is so much a phantom as it is a piece of glass blown inside a bottle. But you don't have to tell your kids that when you warn them about what Skully McSkullface will do to their...