Jewelry

Sterling Silver Full Finger Ring

$175 - $185 Etsy »

The Silver Digit. Excellent. I am one sterling full finger ring away from a new alter ego. I'll look like a cross between the Phantom of the Opera and Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget. But use my powers only for good, of...

Revolver Ring

$3,900 Etsy »

I wonder if Outshine Designs got the idea for their Revolver Ring from Looney Tunes or one of those superhero movies where some poor sap tries to point a gun at the wrong Super Strong Man, and he takes it and bends it...

Death Star Engagement Ring

$450 - $1,200 Etsy »

Ah, an engagement ring symbolic of your move to the Dark Side. Married. The Death Star engagement ring from Alien Forms Jewelry is far from the first Star Wars jewelry we've seen, but I think using an evil, death-dealing...

Screw U Jewelry

$10 - $257 Etsy »

Here's a big Screw U for the scorned, the heartbroken, and the Anti-Valentine's Day-ers. Calm down now, it's for you, not to you. Don one of Screw U Jewelry's bent screw rings, necklaces, or pair of earrings so you can...

Where It Happened Map Jewelry

$125 - $1,995 A. Jaffe »

The Maps jewelry collection from A. Jaffe could make your Valentine feel very, very special. Select any address in the world - the place you met, went on vacation, got engaged, ate the best tacos of your life - and A...

Beardaments - Beard Ornaments

$9.99 Amazon »

If Santa approved of beard ornaments I think he would have invented Beardaments - or at least worn some - himself. Unless he's just leaving Beardaments to those they can really benefit. To all the lumberjacks and hipsters...

Buddha Beads Self Defense Necklace

$29.69 Amazon »

Huh. Not sure how Buddha would feel about people co-opting his peaceful name and beads of spiritual exploration and meditation to make a necklace for whacking an attacker upside the head. But I can kind of see where Phoenix...

Tulry Utility Necklace

$84 - $128 Uncommon Goods »

Nate Barr had the ladies in mind when he created the Tulry Utility Necklace. Of his chevron-shaped twist on the Swiss Army Knife, the Portland, Maine-based artist says he got the idea after noticing almost all everyday...

Your Pet's Nose Ring

$284.99 Etsy »

I'm all for loving your pet...and your pet's nose. But your pet's nose as a ring? Even if the sweet pup or kitty has moved on to taller trees and bigger litter boxes, I'm not sure wearing a sterling silver cast of their...

She-Ra Helmet Ring

$39.99 ThinkGeek »

Where was the She-Ra Helmet Ring when I was proposing to She-Ra: Princess of Power?! It's way better than the ring I got her. Like, $30 cheaper too! I knew I should have waited 6 months...

Enigmaze Internet Password Bracelet

Discontinued

I always wear my heart on my sleeve, my egg on my face, and my internet passwords on my wrist. And surprisingly, the Enigmaze Internet Password Bracelet may be the best of those 3 decisions...

Control-Alt-Delete Knuckle Duster Ring

$40 - $50 Etsy »

Bill Gates recently said he thinks Control-Alt-Delete was a mistake, but I'll bet if he saw the Control-Alt-Delete Knuckle Duster Ring he'd reconsider. Sure, programming Windows' universal Abort! command as 3 keys instead...

Steel Self Defense Bracelet

Discontinued

Self defense or self-inflicted injury? Swingin' 'round this full steel bracelet like a chain whip without really knowing how to swing 'round a chain whip, it could really go either way...

Alpha Rebel KCUF Luxury Survival Bracelets

$230 - $250 Alpha Rebel »

Life testing your limits? KCUF it and expand them to 9' of 550-pound US Military paracord in seconds. The breaking strength can assist with anything from tying down your gear during a windstorm to tying up the bad guys...

Darth Vader Engagement Ring

$390 - $2,995 Sapphire Studios »

Marry me and come to the Dark Side! Come on, ladies, even in you're not into Darth Vader or Star Wars, you gotta indulge any man who presents you with a Vader helmet engagement ring. If for no other reason than the license...

Bullet Boutonniere

$15.95 Bullet Bouquets »

Look even more bangin' in your tux or suit coat with one of Bullet Bouquets' Bullet Boutonnieres. Remember Bullet Bouquets? The overnight bloomin' ammo sensation has expanded its line of potted rounds to include wearables...

Solaris Lockstone Fragrance Bracelets

$49.18 - $79.93 Vanacci »

Sexes, styles, and personas collide in the Solaris Lockstone braceleta. These pieces give a nod to the night sky encircling wrists with a choice of dark and dreamy semi-precious stones leading to a series of personal...

Spiky Slap Bracelet Sensory Toys

$9.99 Amazon »

Whoa, flashback, flash forward, and sensory overload. These Spiky Slap Bracelet sensory toys are kind of a trip, fusing the neon slap bracelet with the studded punk dog collar aesthetic from the 1980s to support today's...

Aromatherapy Essential Oil Diffuser Necklaces

$14.99 - $15.99 Amazon »

Here's a cheap thoughtful gift for your lady Valentine. Aromatherapy Essential Oil Diffuser Necklaces have floral filigree designs crafted as lockets in the symbols of love (heart), wisdom (owl), we're breaking up (teardrop)...

Morse Code Bracelets

$26 - $56 Etsy »

Morse Code bracelets from Tim Art Creations are stylish and thoughtful ways to say I Love You this Valentine's Day without being too schmoopy, or going broke. Go for the 3 little words themselves, or have Tim stamp on...

Sixth Finger Ring

Whooooo wants a FINGERring? Come on, ladies, don't be shy. If you've ever felt like something was missing from your life, here's the perfect opportunity to find out whether or not that something is a 6th finger...

TMNT Paracord Bracelets

$12.50 Etsy »

When you're in a bind, dangling from a thread, and could really use some 550-strength paracord to save your hide, there's only on thing to do: call on...heroes in a half shell, Turtle Power!...

Sydney Evan Skull Ring

$620 Sydney Evan »

For ladies with a dark side, and for the men who owe them a mid-range extravagant gift, I present you the elegantly macabre Sydney Evan Skull Ring. Its 14K rose gold band and cranial framework house 2 precious gem eyes...

Stargate Sterling Spinner Ring

$124.99 ThinkGeek »

No, it's not a Stargate Spinner Ring because it was designed for spinners. Though if you meet an especially charming one, you can certainly give it to her, you ol' Daniel Jackson, you. It's a Stargate Spinner Ring because...