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"Hold Me, Aliens" Coat

By: on September 07, 2012
  • Hold Me, Aliens Coat
  • Hold Me, Aliens Coat
  • Hold Me, Aliens Coat

Well, maybe it's just called the "Hold Me" coat, but this bizarrre gem from Si Chan's fall collection of handsy fashion looks like a line of little green men flanking the zipper--and the wearer's torso--to me. Chan explains his line of spooning upper extremities is intended to illustrate the (dis)connection between people, and the resultant loneliness they may feel. Whoa, heady stuff, dude. I kind of think the Hold Me Coat represents another weird piece of haute couture weirdness that would happen to make a pretty sick costume in cities where it's cold as a well digger's asshole on Halloween or during Comic Cons.

Chan fabricated 6 pieces total, though none of the others spoke to and beckoned me aboard their spaceship quite like the emerald hugasaurus. Or maybe it was the intense gaze of the Jheri-curly-haired redhead (ouch, there's a follicular curse!) modeling the coat that beckoned me. Either way, I seem to have lost the last 18 hours of my life and...uh oh. I'm feeling some discomfort in my southern regions. Do you think...excuse me. I need to go check for an anal probe.

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Melting Bloody Hand Candle

$35 from Etsy »

Now here's a bloody handy gift for Halloween. Bryan Lawrence makes these terrifically creepy candles, you guessed it, by hand, using flesh-colored wax for the outer layers of their fingers and palms, and blood-red on...

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Nuada Hand Strength Enhancing Glove

By: Nuada »

It's hard to tell if there's a working prototype of the Nuada glove out there, of if the hand strength enhancement system exists only as a concept with renderings. The video, which would be a terrific place to demonstrate...

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Images You Should Not Masturbate To

$9.02 from Amazon »

If you're wondering if its title is true, feed your curiosities with the photo of the dog that looks like George Costanza's mom in this book of Images You Should Not Masturbate To. And I thought the salt shaker was bad....

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Reversible Chewbacca Hoodie

Sold Out from Amazon »

It may not be the skin covering a Yoda head rejected from use in the original Star Wars, but at least Marc Ecko's reversible Chewbacca hoodie is a bodily covering that's a little easier to come by....

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Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets

Men, say it with diamonds. With chocolate truffles. With roses. Ladies, say it with beef. Jerky. In the shape of flowers for good measure. Because even though nothing will tell your man's belly how you feel more than...

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The Womanizer (NSFW)

$189 from Amazon »

Ladies and their lady parts must really like this Womanizer contraption and its suction cuppy O-face of a tip because this is one sex toy I keep: 1) reading about in major publications; 2) hearing all my girlfriend's...

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Hero Within Coats

$99 - $249 from Hero Within »

I told my gf I would agree to wear a man pea coat under one condition: it had to have a subtle and classy Bat symbol integrated into its cut and stitching across the back and shoulders. Then I smugly thought about how...

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Ex-Boyfriend Revenge Kit

$1,680 from Her Royal Flyness »

I am drawing this Ex-Boyfriend Revenge Kit to the world's attention only so that if anyone sees a woman carrying a bluish-greenish colored purse you'll know to report her immediately to a shrink, the police, and Batman....

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Bat Levitating Mouse

Bat, a levitating wireless computer mouse, is currently in the research and testing phases for use in preventing and treating carpal tunnel syndrome, a median nerve dysfunction to which many mouse manipulators are susceptible....

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Vollebak Solar Charged Jacket

$350 from Vollebak »

Vollebak's Solar Charged Jacket does for Slimer Green what the clothing startup's Baker Miller Naptime Hoodie did for Unicorn Pink: it takes a crazy cut from Roy G Biv, and gives it a highly functional application. Naptime's...

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Objects of Desire (NSFW)

$26.35 from Amazon »

Everyone's all on about the advancements in the computer industry. The cell phone industry. The automotive industry. But what about the sex toy industry? Isn't it about time they got the props they deserve for the groundbreaking...

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Freetoo Outdoor Gloves

$12.98 - $21.68 from Amazon »

Men, what can you do with Freetoo's outdoor gloves? An Amazon reviewer says, "I threw several heavy punches at a tree in my yard. And no it didn't feel good on my hand but it didn't damage it at all. If you punch someone...