60

I Watch You T-Shirt

By: on July 04, 2013
$25.99
Check It Out

Happy harsh dose of 4th of July reality! Aw come on, it's not so bad that Uncle Sam sees America celebrating its independence by launching bottle rockets out of beer bottles and butt cracks. We fought hard for this freedom we're honoring, and part of that freedom allows for jackassinine shenanigans involving alcohol, explosives, watermelon, and maybe a Boobs ice luge.

Tomorrow, though, being watched by the government is going to go back to sucking a fat walrus teat. And we need a T-shirt to point it out, express our disgruntlement. Uncle Sam. You asshole. I'm an upstanding citizen of these United States and I don't need you putting a magnifying glass to my demonstations of such as I return things to Wal-Mart for a full refund once they've served my purposes, demand to-go boxes at buffets, and regularly avoid hitting bicyclists by mere inches as a friendly reminder that they should get the F off the roads.

According to seller Irregular Times, the I Watch You T-Shirt was ethically produced in these great and united states in which we live. For every shirt sold, the company will donate $1 to "progressive political causes" and another $1 to international microloans for people impoverished nations that actually do make us feel very damn lucky to live in America.

Check it out

California Cowboy Aloha & Apres Ski Apparel

$38 - $148 from California Cowboy »

Cowboy out of respect, California to the core. California Cowboy makes clothing that urges you to "Put your phone away and start a conversation." Their High Water and High Sierra aloha and apres ski shirts even have a...

Check it out

EQUUS BASS770 - New American Muscle Car

$250k - $290k from EQUUS Automotive »

Designed and manufactured in the USA. That's the battle cry of the 2014 EQUUS BASS770, a contemporary nod to American muscle cars of the 60s and 70s. It's also probably the reason for its starting price tag of $250 grand....

Check it out

Confederate P51 Combat Fighter

$113,900 - $119,500 from Confederate Motorcycles »

Confederate has been releasing Combat motorcycles regularly since 1999; just during my short tenure in these parts we've seen the formidable X132 Hellcat Combat and its follow-up, the equally vicious X132 Hellcat Speedster....

Check it out

Up - The Don't Slouch T-Shirt

$175 from Up Couture »

Up T-shirts award "dream posture" to both men and women with an integrated, flexible, extra-thin film woven into their fabrics at trigger points (shoulders, upper back) shown to encourage long spines, open chests, and...

Buy Now

Lalabu Dad Shirt

$75 from Amazon »

The Lalabu Dad Shirt is a different kind of Dadbag. One that some men will consider just as big of a joke, but that others, such dudes with infants who find themselves piling on as much gear as they once did for a weeklong...

Check it out

Single Sentence Film Summary T-Shirts

$28 from Fab »

You might think cinematic masterpieces such as Rocky, Star Wars, Back to the Future, and The Karate Kid are too densely packed with plot and profundity to encapsulate in just one sentence, but Mike Joyce's Stereotype...

Check it out

Yay Cleavage T-Shirt

$21 from Raygun »

I tried to crop out the part of the Yay Cleavage T-Shirt photo that shows the boobily blessed lady wearing it is pregnant, but I think you can still kind of tell. Sorry. I guess the V-neck may technically be intended...

Check it out

Mousou Exposed Butt T-Shirt

I just...I can't...I...what the butt, Japan?! The Mousou Exposed Butt T-Shirt baffles me on so many levels. First, why is the butt positioned so that it's exploding out of the wearer's chest Alien-style? Why is it on...

Check it out

Dragon Ball T-Shirts & Rashguards

$35 - $45 from Justsaiyan »

Lookin' for Dragon Balls? Look the part with Justsaiyan's DBZ T-shirts and SkinZ. The fitted tees and water-ready rashguards are covered from neckline to waistline in pure, unbridled, anime-tastic DBZ art. Go hero or...

Check it out

Presidential Knife Fight: The Game

Let me just address 2 points about Presidential Knife Fight: The Game up front. 1) It's a card game, not some Mortal Kombat-Pokemon Go hybrid that lets you find and collect past American Presidents to duke it out with...

Check it out

Patriots Being Badass Prints

$25 from Etsy »

These patriots heard the battle cry of Team America, and hollered back an even louder Fuck Yeah! From Paul Revere's Midnight Ride on a Tron Light Cycle to Abe Lincoln wielding an M16 and giddy-upping on a grizzly bear...

Buy Now

Ninja Flip T-Shirt

$16.99 - $20.99 from Amazon »

Carrying around this secret identity won't create an awkward bulge at your waistline, or require you to wear an underlayer of skin-suctioning red and blue Spandex. Crazy Dog T-Shirts' flipover Ninja tee has the masked...