Due For Delivery Date Maternity Shirts

Cute. Now everyone will stop asking. Available in pink or blue ink so you won't have to field that one anymore either. Say, how filling in all that white space with the rest of the questions you're tired of answering?

Tracking number: __________.blogspot.com.

Declared Value: About $15,000, with a $1,000 deductible.

Delivery Method (circle one): Pick up from womb. Push through mail slot.

Delivery Confirmation? Yes. Via 987 Facebook snapshots, and several dozen professional photos.

Returns: This item is not eligible for return. Donation to the less fortunate is a possibility.